The Count Down

In seven day it will be our 7 month anniversary, but how many more anniversaries are we going to celebrate going forward? I am hoping for 1 year, 5 years, 10 years, and 50 years. But I guess I only have 6 more months to make it happen. Some might wonder why 6 month? Because that’s the sentence I got from Katelyn. Knowing that she really cares about my parents, and what they think. And IF one day when we decide to get marry, my parents have to be ok with her. I know is my fault putting this situation behind, instead of attacking it. I know is my fault for telling my parents in the first place, without giving her a chance to prove to my parents how wonderful she is. I know, I know, I know. Therefore, I have 6 months to turn it around or else there is no point wasting each other’s time. I’m not going to use this blog to explain myself why I didn’t attack the problem sooner or why I told my parents. Instead, I want to use this blog as a reminder to myself of the dead line. To me this is a huge wakeup call, can’t put it behind me anymore, got to hit the ground running. The next six month will be the key to my happiness for the rest of my life or hell. There will be endless upset stomach, endless emotional stress, and endless bitching and nagging, but the end would be bitter sweet.

Love,

Ethan 11/13/08

*~女人在床上最難忍受的9件事！~*

女人在床上最難忍受的9件事.........男人一定要看~!!!

根據一份針對20到35歲年輕女性所做的問卷調查，在床上最無法忍受男伴的惡行惡狀，在此我們列舉出最熱門的9大選項提供給男士們參考，快來看看你是否也是常常會犯以下的毛病而不自知呢？

01. 每次都要求不戴套子
女人Say NO 指數：＊＊＊＊
原因：爽的都是男人，後果卻要我們負責！
除非，上帝讓男人懷孕生子，我們絕對舉雙手贊成！

02. 想試一試從後面進去的感覺
女人Say NO指數：＊＊＊＊
原因：如果男人也願意讓我在他的小屁屁裡塞根香蕉，我會考慮一下.........

03. 做愛到中途，忽然抽出要我幫他口交
女人Say NO指數：＊＊＊＊＊
原因：天阿！雖然做愛是很盡性的事，但是也應該注意一下先後順序吧！

04. 不洗澡、剛吃完飯就想做
女人Say NO指數：＊＊＊＊
原因：想想看！一個整身汗臭又剛K下一個洋蔥牛肉漢堡的男人，別說要愛愛了，連接吻都是一件很噁心的事。對了！還要小心他冷不防地放個屁….OH！My God！

05. 要開燈或是在很奇怪的地方做
女人Say NO指數：＊＊＊
原因：開燈？想到全身上下都被他一目瞭然，還能看到自己大腿撐開的怪姿勢，哪會有高潮阿！

06. 問我有沒有高潮，過不過癮，他是否很厲害.....每個男人都很在意~~但是為什麼丫
女人Say NO指數：＊＊＊
原因：若我說有，就問有幾次，這樣多餘的問題，有什麼好問，又不是在比賽破紀錄！

07. 講一些前任女友或是問我之前男友的表現
女人Say NO指數：＊＊＊＊
原因：要我說實話嗎？ 我怕他會從此羞愧到死…

08. 事後馬上呼呼大睡，判若兩人...這樣女孩子好像只是一種工具而己, 難怪會生氣
女人Say NO指數：＊＊＊＊＊
原因：這真是令人生氣的一件事！下次在愛愛時，記得帶份報紙或是打打毛線，比較不會無聊。

09. 一談到結婚問題他就避重就輕....那就拿到結婚證書...再做吧
女人Say NO指數：＊＊＊＊
原因：沒有原因

*~Katelyn~*

＊～Ｈappy ６ Ｍonths～＊

今晚在開車回家的路上突然想起來，今天是我和他在一起的 “６month anniversary”．．．．日子過的真快！沒想到一眨眼就已經在一起六個月了．．．雖然跟很多寶貝們，朋友們比起來，這不算什麼，但對我來說，這可是我人生另一皆段的開始．

還記得在一年半前，是我剛結束了一段長跑五年的感情．在結束的時後，我從來沒想過要尋找對象或是會遇到我的另一半．．．我一心想做好的事是好好的工作．有了穩定的收入，穩定的生活，我才能給予baby一個健康的環境讓他快樂的成長．這一直都是我人生的目標，也是我當是唯一的目標．在那時候，我進了中信，我遇見了他，但沒有對他有任何的心動．．．也沒有任何的動心．．．我們只不過是同事而已，而且是那種單純中的單純同事．在公司，雖然我們的辦公室是鄰居，但沒有必要的時候，可以一個禮拜都講不到話，見不到面．還記得我們第一次出去是跟同事們一起去吃濎泰豐．．．那是我第一次跟他相處．那時，我對他的第一印象是．．．他講話很賤，是個很奇怪的人．但，我知道他是無意的，他為了逗大家笑，才會說那些話，做那些事．之後，我們就比較常見到面，常出去．．．但是還是一群一群的．有一晚，我們單獨的去喝茶．．．還記得那天我心情並不是很好，他安慰了我．在那舜間，我看到他的另一面，他溫柔，感性，體貼，聰明的一面．也是因為這樣，我心動了．．．．

跟他在一起的這短短的六個月裡，他陪伴著我走過我人生的低潮，在我傷心的時候，借我他的胸膛，讓我盡情的哭泣，讓我依靠．他總是在我感到脆弱無助的時候，不故一切的為我付出，借我他的雙手，讓我感到他的溫暖．他總是在我最需要的時候，借我他的時間，好讓我安心的渡過，安心的完成我的事．在我開心的時候，他會是我第一個想到的人．當我們沒見面的時候，我仍然還是會想念著他．我的心情被他的一舉一動，喜努哀樂，牽著走．．．也是因為這樣我開始完全的信任他，不知不覺的依賴他．為了我，他願意背判他父母的話，繼續牽著我走．對一個很孝順父母的他來說，他為了不讓我難過，不讓我擔心，他都會笑笑的跟我說沒什麼！但其實我心裡知道，他為了這件是還是放不下，一直都在困擾著他，只是為了不讓我擔心，他才不說而已，他都一個人承擔．看到他這樣，我真的很心疼他．．．曾經，我為了不想再看到他被夾在中間很為難，我願意離開他．在我要離開的時候，他緊緊的抱住我，告訴我．．．他不會放棄我，還是一直會牽著我走下去，因為他的這句話．．．我愛上了他．因為我知道我在他心裡有多麼的重要，他有多愛我，在乎我．

他總是會把一個很平凡的我，捧在手心了，不讓我受到任何的傷害，為了我，為了baby，我看到他的努力，看到他的誠意，看到他的用心，更看到他的肯定．很多時候，我都會想，一個像他的男人，滿嘴的髒話，我行我訴的行為，不會顧到別人的感受，常常因為他的嘴賤，行為，總會得罪無數的無辜人，怎麼可能會有人性，脆弱，感性，講理的一面呢？雖然很不可思意，但他真的有．．．我真的很謝謝他，在這半年裡，陪伴了我走在我人生的旅程．他帶給我無數的歡樂，他讓我笑．．．也讓我哭，他讓我不再孤單，他讓我認識了很多的寶貝，好朋友，他給予我無限的美好回憶，還有太多太多了．．．．

在這麼重要的一天，我想對他說：

“Ｂaby～謝謝你愛我，也從來沒放棄過我．不是因為你的堅持的話，我想，我今天還是會一個人的過．我知道因為我的背景，帶給你和你家人不少的困擾，也很對不起，我無法為你改變這個事實．但為了你，不管要我做什麼，花多久的時間，我會讓他們接受我，喜歡我．．．你不需要心疼我，你只要為我加油就好了．以後的路還有好長好長．．．我希望我的未來會有你來陪伴著我渡過．．．．我愛你！！！ Ｈappy ６ Ｍonths～！！！”

＊～Ｋatelyn～＊

＊～送一份好心情給自己．．．．．～＊

在現實生活中，我們常常看到這樣的女人．．．．

她們除了在單位要努力做好自己的工作外，回到家，她們還要盡心盡力的做好賢妻良母的角色．休假時會帶著小孩一起去吃吃飯．看著孩子吃，自己卻一口也捨不得吃．一家人一起逛逛街，在女裝區裡，戀戀不舍的添飽眼福，而在男裝區和童裝區，只要他們需要，就毫不猶豫的掏出錢包．在家裡更是把好吃好喝的都留給老公和孩子，自己要是哪裡不舒服了，也是一聲不吭的硬撐著，為了老公和孩子，為了家，她們忘了自己的煩惱和不快樂，甚至忘了自己，一心一意的繼續任勞任怨的做每件事．

久而久後，男人會以為他的老婆就是一個非常單調，平凡的女人．孩子以為自己的媽媽天生就是幾乎沒什麼嗜好的好媽媽．可有誰知，到了夜深人靜時，她們躺在床上，捶著自己累酸的腿和背，摸著自己的因勞累而日漸粗糙老的臉，唉！生活之累常常會化為一聲長長的嘆息！

在平淡如水的日子裡，我們為什麼不會留點時間和關心給自己呢？如果沒有男人送花給妳，我們可以去花店買一束康乃馨送給自己．妳知道嗎？ 聽說康乃馨是女人的花，因為．．．“康”代表健康，“乃”代表美麗，“馨”代表快樂！要知道我們女人一生最重視的就是健康，美麗，和快樂，要知道生活是多彩多姿的，我們不僅要學會去創造生活，也要學習去享受生活，更要學習珍惜自己，愛自己．．．．就是要不時的送給自己一份好心情。

只有靠我們自己在生活中用一雙快樂的眼和一顆快樂的心去尋找，去發現．所以我們一定要記住，不論在什麼時候，不管發生什麼事，為了心愛的人和可愛的孩子，為了自己的家或是未來的家，要好好的珍惜自己，疼愛自己．要讓自己經常保持一份愉快的心情，去更好的創造生活，享受生活！

今天的妳，做到了嗎？

＊～Ｋatelyn～＊

＊～就是喜歡放屁～＊

有一位超正的小姐，有個不太好的習慣，就是喜歡放屁！

有一天，這位小姐要搭公車上班，

她身邊有很多熱情的追求者尾隨在她後面．

上車沒多久，小姐的老毛病又忍不住犯了，

身邊有一位男士很機警馬上大聲說 “對不起，是我放的”

可是沒多久，小姐又暗柰的不住的 “噗～”了好大一聲，

這次另一個男士很有風度的向大家說 “很對不起，這個屁是我放的”

小姐聽了覺得很安慰也很放心，於是便將一肚子氣一股腦兒釋放出來，

這次放的屁簡直又臭又響，

正當這位小姐等待有勇敢的男士願意為她羲牲形象時，

有個男人突然大聲的喊..........................

“以後這個小姐放的屁都算我的！”

＊～單親爸爸的心聲～＊

我今晚聽了一個很感人很感人的故事，我一定要跟你們分享．．．我看到都不知道哭了多少次呢．一開始看就覺的超sad的，看到中間就忍不住落淚，看到後面．．．就開始大哭．．．所以你們真的要有心裡準備！

這個故事是來自韓國一為單親爸爸．．．．

“ 我的妻子因為意外事故離開我身邊已經四年了，我想，妻子留下不會做任何家事的我和孩子，她的心有何等難過呢？我因為無法兼顧父母雙親的角色而感到挫折．有一天我為了出差，清晨趕出門，無法將孩子打點好就得離開家，正巧前一天有剩下的飯，我熱了蒸蛋，向還沒睡醒的孩子交代一聲，就出門了．為了照顧好孩子飲食三餐的事，我也無力把自己的工作做好．有一天晚上回到家，我只是很簡單的和孩子打個招呼，就因為身體疲累，不想吃晚餐，脫掉西裝之後就直接往床上躺下．就在那個時後，砰的一聲，紅色的湯汁跟泡麵瞬時弄髒了床單，原來有碗泡麵在綿被裡！這小子真是的，我即時拿起一個衣架，跑出去，往正在玩著玩具的兒子的屁股就打，因為我實在是太生氣了，所以就不停的打他．但就在這個時候，他邊哭泣邊說了一段話，使我聽了下來．兒子告訴我說：“飯鍋裡的飯早就吃完了，晚餐在幼稚園吃了，但是到了晚上，爸爸還沒有回來，我就在櫥櫃的抽屜裡找到了泡麵，可是想到爸爸說不能亂動瓦斯爐，所以我就打開洗澡的水龍頭，用熱水泡了泡麵，一個自己吃，另一個想留給爸爸吃．因為怕麵會涼掉，就把它放在綿被裡，等你回來．可是因為我正在玩向朋友借來的玩具，所以忘了跟爸爸講 ”．我不想兒子看到我在流淚，所以就衝到洗手間裡，將水龍頭打開，大聲的哭著．過了一陣子，我打起精神來，一面哄著兒子，一面在幫他插藥，讓他上床睡覺．當我把泡麵弄髒的床單處理後，打開兒子的房門一看，發現他仍然在發出哭泣聲，手裡還拿著媽媽的照片．我把頭靠在房門許久，看著這一幕．自從在一年前發生這件事之後，我為了扮演好媽媽的角色，更加用心的去照顧他．現在兒子已經七歲了，不久後，就要進入國小讀書．慶幸的是，兒子在這段時間毫無陰影，很開朗的成長．就在不就前，我再一次打孩子．因為幼稚園來電說，兒子沒有去學校，我心裡覺得很不安，所以早退回家，在整個社區裡大喊兒子的名子，卻是遍尋不著．後來在文具店的門口，看見他站在那．於是我很生氣，又開始一直打他．兒子並沒有說任何的解釋，只說了聲對不起．後來我才知道，原來剛好是幼稚園要邀請媽媽去看才藝表演的日子．發生這件事的幾天後，兒子回家說，他在幼稚園學了寫字．從此他經常把自己關在房間裡不出來，很認真的寫字．我看到兒子這麼用心，就想到妻子在天國也一定會看到他這樣而微笑，我就無法忍住淚水．時見很快，又過了一年，到了東天，街頭上都在播放聖誕節的歌曲，我的兒子卻又闖了一個禍．我正要下班的時候，接到一通社區郵局的電話，說我兒子把一大堆沒有寫地址的信惡作劇的放在郵筒裡．每年到了年底，正是郵局最忙碌的時候，所以這對他們造成很大的困擾．雖然我已經決定不再打孩子，但在季忙趕到家後，叫了兒子出來，我又忍不住痛打他一頓．兒子這一次只是說他做錯了，卻沒有講出任何理由．我把他推到一個角落，不管他，自己跑到郵局領回那堆惡作劇的信．我把信帶回家丟到兒子的眼前說：“ 你為什麼要這樣惡作劇？” 兒子哭著說：“ 這些信是我要寄給媽媽的 ”．當時我的眼眶紅了起來，所以我盡量忍住．我接著問他：“那麼，為什麼一次寄這麼多信呢？” 兒子回答說：“以前我個子太矮了，沒辦法把信投入，但最近我再去郵筒時，已經可以搆得到了，所以就把以前沒有寄的，一次全部投進去”．我聽了後，心中一片茫然，不知道該對孩子說什麼話．過了不久以後，我就跟他說：“媽媽現在在天上，以後你寫完信，把信燒了，就能送到天國去了”．等孩子睡著之後，我到外面燒了那些信．我很好奇到底孩子想跟媽媽說些什麼，所以讀了其中的幾封信．而當中有一封信攪動了我的心．

親愛的媽媽，

我很想念妳！媽媽，今天在幼稚園有才藝表演，但因為我沒有媽媽，所以就沒有去，我也沒有告訴爸爸，怕爸爸會想念媽媽．爸爸到處找我，但我為了讓爸爸看到開心的樣子，所以故意坐在電動玩具門口，雖然爸爸罵我，但是我最後也沒有告訴他原因．媽媽，我每天都看到爸爸因為想念媽媽而哭泣，我想爸爸也跟我一樣，很捨不得媽媽吧！但是，媽媽，我現在已經記不清楚妳的臉．媽媽，請妳讓我在夢中，再一次能夠看到妳的臉，好嗎？聽說把想念的人的照片放在懷裡睡覺，就會夢到那個人．可是，媽媽，為什麼妳沒有出現在我夢裡呢？

讀完這封信後，我就開始大哭．．．其實，孩子的心思真的很單純．．．身為父母的，都應該好好了解孩子的想法並珍惜一起相處的時光！

＊～Ｋatelyn～＊

＊～喜歡還是愛．．．．？～＊

今天看到了一個朋友ＰＯ出來的文章．．．題目是：“喜歡還是愛？” 雖然文章並不長，但～很有意思．短，但～一定會讓現在的情侶看了之後，清楚知道你們對你的另一半是喜歡還是愛．．．

我們常常分不清楚（包含我在內）是喜歡一個人還是愛一個人．但我，經過了一段一段感情的時後，好像已經慢慢體會愛和喜歡的差異．

當你與喜歡的人對話，你可以暢所欲言；當你與愛的人對話時，你卻難以啟齒，小心翼翼．

喜歡一個人，你會和他分享生活中的甜酸苦辣；愛一個人，你卻只敢報喜不報憂．

喜歡一個人，有時候會盼望跟他在一起；愛一個人，有時候會怕跟他在一起．

喜歡一個人，你會希望隨時都可以找到他（你要他隨 call，隨到）；當你愛一個人，你會希望他隨時都可以找到妳（他 call 妳，你不敢不到）

喜歡他，不一定是愛她．可是～愛他，就一定會喜歡他．

如果在分手後，妳能夠很快的往前走的話，那就代表妳只有喜歡而已．．．．因為真正愛一個人，是等待他回頭，而且還會給他機會的．．．．

＊～Ｋatelyn～＊

＊～讓懂你的人愛你．．．～＊

通常快樂的時候我們想到的都是情人，而悲傷的時候想到的卻是朋友．

曾經聽人家說過：“與其說，當你悲傷的時候想到誰，那他才是你所愛的人．不如說，願意分擔你悲傷的人，才是愛你的人．” 因為要分享快樂，太容易了．如果把悲傷同時告訴兩個我愛的人，而及時安慰我與我共度難關的人，才會把我當作廝守終身的人．

但是，男人的思想往往是逆向而行的．．．如果他不願意把他的悲傷告訴那個人，而那個人才是他所愛的人，因為他不忍心看到他所愛的人為他憂心煩惱．之前有位老師對我說過，我是一個男人的命，住進了一個女人的身體裡．．．我同意．因為當每個女人把她們的不高興，煩惱，告訴她的另一半時，我只會把我的不開心，煩惱，放入心裡最深最深的地方．．．．因為我會捨不得看到我的另一半為我操心，被我的心情影響著．

最近，讓我感覺到，我們都應該慎選一份值得堅持的感情．愛～只要一點點衝動就可以了．可是了解～卻少了些默契都不行．相愛不只是走進了對方的生活，更要能走入彼此的生命．而喜歡啊～就是淡淡的愛，愛呢～就是深深的喜歡．．．

一個不懂得珍惜妳的人，不值得讓你做任何的羲牲在他身上．因為妳的所做所為，到最後，只會換來一個 “是應該的”．一個懂妳的人，不會時時刻刻的挑妳毛病，不會讓妳不開心，不會一次一次的傷害妳，因為他了解妳，所以他知到什麼會讓你開心，而什麼會讓你不開心．這種行為，也是他愛妳的最好的證明，對於其他的～根本不需要多說．．．多做．

Ｋatelyn曾經以為她是個要求不多的人．她希望他的另一半是個斯文，成熟，有風度，不抽煙，有同情心，有愛心，．．．的男人．但是，可能她真的太貪心了吧，因為換來的另一半是個講話粗魯，行為幼稚，開口都是髒話，愛抽煙，對陌生人沒有同情心，沒有愛心．．．的男人．就拿抽煙的事情來說好了，曾經很笨的以為，她的另一半真的會為她戒煙．從一天一包到半包到一天只抽一根，她真的有一陳子，真的很開心．但，這樣只有為持一下子而已，他又開始抽起來了，而且越抽越多．昨天～還被他騙下車去拿東西，而她的另一半又偷偷的在車上抽．．．她一進車就聞到煙味，問他～還騙著說沒有．心真的很痛，因為很笨的她，以為她的另一半真的想要為她和baby多活一點，他真的是愛她們的．誰知道，一次又一此的被他耍．失望．．．．．真的很失望．

寫到這裡，眼淚又掉下來了．．．真的不想要去想了．．．今天就寫到這裡吧

＊～Ｋatelyn～＊

＊～有些男人永遠都學不會怎樣去愛一個女人．．．～＊

Ｋatelyn 今晚的心情讓我想起一個朋友．．．很想分想一個故事給你們聽．．．．

還記得在不久前，有一為男性朋友對我說，他終於在離婚後才發現，原來馬桶是經常刷洗的．原來照顧小孩，竟然要花很多的心力和時間，而且還要失去很珍貴的 “自由“．

我們有一天在電話上聊了一陣子．．．．

我問他： “你現在的老婆過的還好嗎？” 

他說：“她離開我之後，又嫁了，過的很幸福”

我接著又問他：“她有沒有回來看小孩呢？”

他很安靜的說：“沒有”

那時我只決得他前妻很殘忍，難道她不愛小孩了嗎？她就這樣拋棄小孩了嗎？自己生的耶！

後來，我這為朋友繼續對我說他和前妻間的種種．他們結婚有八年了．他的前妻是個不錯的女人，雖然婚前很愛玩，但是結婚後，就改變了，她過著非常居家的生活．在第一個小孩出生後，我這為朋友經常早出晚歸．他的前妻體諒他在外面工作的辛勞，所以並無怨言．在第二個小孩出生後，他更是經常晚歸，甚至會在外面過夜．他的前妻，每次只希望他能多抽出一些時間陪陪她，陪陪小孩，而他總是以事業忙碌為藉口，依然是我行我訴．

她的婆婆是個思想保守的老人家，婆婆總認為兒子的種種，是來自妻子做不好的原因，於是對妻子的態度很冷淡．有一天，他的前妻對他說：“結婚八年了，你為這個家付出了什麼？你為我做了什麼？”

他回她說：“我每天辛苦賺錢給你們，為了生活打拼，這些還不夠嗎？”

前妻說：“你認為這樣就夠了嗎？一個女人要的，是這些嗎？”

他很生氣的說：“不然妳還要什麼？我讓妳不愁吃穿，生活無優，天天待在家，想做什麼就做什麼，有幾個女人會過的比妳好呢？”

她很難過的回答他：“結婚這些年以來，你根本看不到我的付出，看不到我的苦．你不懂你的小孩為什麼突然間長大，又懂事”

他又說了：“我又沒付出嗎？沒照顧你嗎？給妳錢花的是誰？小孩會長大不是靠我辛苦賺來的錢嗎？”

他前妻，無話可說，也在那一刻覺醒了．於是，她題出離婚，不要小孩，也不要錢．她只想離開這個浪費她生命的男人，讓她不快樂的男人．

故事聽到這裡之後，我的這為朋友突然對我說：“妳知道嗎？從離婚後，我做的每件事都為了孩子，找個可以取代孩子的母親的人．但是，我喜歡的～小孩又不喜歡．”

我問他：“孩子第一眼不喜歡的，你就不要了嗎？”

他說：“嗯．．．我到了現在才知道，原來孩子不會自己長大，做母親的真的很不可理諭，原來家事是如此的繁重，原來每天帶著兩個小孩，根本哪裡都不能去，原來馬桶那麼乾淨是有原因的．．．．．”

故事就說到這裡吧．．．

男人們！！！

女人可以傻傻的愛著你不代表可以讓你傻傻的對待她們．當有個女人真心的愛著你，為你付出的時候，那是很幸福的．．．當你心裡在想 ‘難道我做的還不夠嗎？’．．．就請看看，對方也為你所付出的事．請不要 “身在福中不知福”

愛．．．不是施捨，不要覺得別人是欠你的．一個女人好好的，沒有必要把自己丟在婚姻裡還被嫌棄．所以就珍惜你所有的吧！

＊～Ｋatelyn～＊

＊～幸福的定義～＊

今晚的你，妳．．．幸福嗎？

有人說能擁有愛是人生最大的幸福．在我們愛著人或被愛著的時候，心中總是充滿著無限的喜悅．．．因為每個人都喜歡被重視和珍惜的感覺．但是能夠擁有真愛明白真正的幸福又有幾人呢？

一直以來的Ｋatelyn都以為相愛的人要相伴一生才是幸福的選擇．．．後來在經立人生的過程裡，才領悟到將美好的回憶流成永恆～也是幸福的一種事啊！如果相伴一生發生分離，爭吵，怨恨．．．所謂的幸福定義，真的是因為人而易不過．．．那我～還是寧願選擇相伴一生呢！

有時候，太愛一個人，也不見得會開心．．．妳會因為太愛他而產生懷疑．因為太認真去看待這段感情，而產生強烈的占有．妳會很開心的去愛他也因為如此，對於他的所作所為很容易另妳感到不開心．或許感情就是這樣吧．．．經得起考驗長久下來妳會因為愛他而相信他真心，很認真的在保護著這份感情而懂得適度的放手．但～經不起考驗的．．．也許等不到這一刻就會因為太難守成而放棄．

對於幸福的定義，每個人都不同．．．但卻有一樣是相同的～那就是．．．幸福總是會帶給我們快樂！人生啊～說長不長，說短它也不短．．．最重要的是要過得開心．開心得做好每件事，開心得去實現每個願望，開心得去認認真真愛一個人．．．幸福就是～和喜歡的人在一起．能和喜歡的人做喜歡的事情，看到他高興，自己也高興．看到他失望，自己也失望．．．能為他分想一切喜怒哀樂．幸福就是～和身邊的親朋好友一起說說笑笑．一起創造一輩子的美好回憶．幸福就是～讓妳愛的人也感覺得到幸福．幸福．．．其實只要用心去體會身邊的人，事，物，裡面都會含有幸福的成分喔！幸福的感覺應該是非常甜蜜的，讓人忍不住就從心裡笑出來，從內心甜蜜到心外．．．．幸福的定義其實在於自己，如果妳覺得那是幸福．．．那～就是幸福的！

我的世界．．．因為愛而改變，而因為愛而不停轉動．於是，生活中看似平凡的人，事，物，一點一滴串連成無可取代的幸福．其實啊～真正的幸福．．．往往在一念之間的決擇．當你學會珍惜身邊的一切，懂得用心去感受，懂得惜福和感激，那麼你會發現，幸福離妳並不遙遠，它就在你垂手可得之處等著妳去尋獲！

＊～Ｋatelyn～＊

＊～愛一個人本來就是這樣．．．～＊

今晚的Ｋatelyn心情有點失落．．．又有點爭扎．真矛盾．．．

愛一個人本來就是要這樣，不是嗎？ 為了你的另一半，咬緊牙根，硬著頭皮，和不喜歡的人同桌吃飯，敬酒，說說笑笑，聽著她訴苦，還要安慰著她，知道她對你的另一半有好感，還要當做沒事，看著她笑到打你另一半，還要當做沒看到．．．

今晚．．．每一項都在一個晚上裡發生了．而我能做的，只不過是一個字．．“忍”．我忍．．．我忍她不是因為我不想惹事，我忍她不是因為我怕她，我忍她不是因為我鬥不過她．．．我忍她是因為我愛我的另一半．我不想要為難他，我不想讓他在他朋友面前很難堪，我不想不給他面子，我希望看到他開心，所以不管我心有多麼的不舒服，我只會把所有的感處放在心裡，然後臉上還是微笑著面對大家．其實我真的很討厭一個這樣的自己．我這一輩子，最討厭的就是這種所謂 “做做” 的人．仔細想想，我並沒有什麼資格去批評他們，因為我～今晚就當了一個 “做做” 的人．

我想今晚最難過的不是這些吧，而是Ｅthan真的很笨！他不但不知道發生什麼事，還每過半個小時會在大家的面前取笑我，侮辱我，傷害我，把我當做是他們的娛樂，他們的笑話．看著大家笑．．．我也跟著笑．他在大家的面前說我胖，他們笑，我也笑．他在大家面前讓我扮演個很會控制他，不講理的角色，他們或許會覺得我很bitchy，我也認了．其實認識我們的人，都知道基本上只要他開心，他要做什麼，說什麼，我不會去反對，我真的很少很少的反對他．像抽煙的事．．．我是真的希望他會戒，但，就算他真的在我面前抽，我也不會怎樣．我曾經很傻的想要和他有個未來．．．但～現在，這個念頭慢慢的離我而去．我真的很害怕，我怕有一天～這個念頭已經不存在了．有沒有人能夠告訴我，我該怎麼辦才好呢？是我有錯嗎？

內心深處，我應該是在氣我自己吧，因為我太在乎Ｅthan了．我不想傷害他，連一點點都不要，所以我才會選擇去傷害我自己．其實我真的沒有任何的怨言，我只想把些心裡話說出來，好讓我能夠好好的睡一覺．因為我開始覺得有點累了．．．

或許，愛一個人本來就是這樣的．．．．

＊～Ｋatelyn～＊

＊～ 聖誕節啊聖誕節，不要讓我久等喔！～＊

今天早上出門的時候，在車上聽到了一首聖誕歌，名叫   “ Ｍerry       Ｃhristmas，Ｈappy Ｈolidays ”，讓我想起了很多往年的事和人．時間真的過的很快，還記得在２００７年的聖誕節是在Ｖegas渡過，結果一眨眼，２００８的聖誕又快來臨了！從小到大，不管是慶祝或是過什麼節日，聖誕節仍然還是我的最愛！在每一年的感恩節一過，我就開始很期待很期待聖誕節趕快來．

曾經有很多朋友問過我，為什麼這麼愛聖誕節呢？

我喜歡聖誕節的氣氛．．．因為它給予我一種很溫馨的感覺，我喜歡聽聖誕歌．．．因為真的很好聽又很感人，我喜歡和最愛的家人和朋友交換禮物．．．因為可以看到他們收到禮物給你的那種真誠的笑容，我喜歡看聖誕燈．．．因為我可以看到家家戶戶花很多心思和時間去把自己的家佈置的漂漂亮亮的，我喜歡聖誕老公公．．．因為曾經相信他的存在，所以他給了我和弟弟一個很快樂的童年，我喜歡聖誕的天氣．．．因為我喜歡冬天，而且也讓我抱著可以看到雪的希望．．．我喜歡聖誕節的聚會．．．因為我們總是在很忙的生活裡忽略了一些家人和朋友，所以趁這個節日聚一聚，看到好久沒有看到的人，所以你問我，我喜歡聖誕節嗎？不！我不喜歡，我愛．．．我希望每天都是聖誕節！

今年的聖誕節，我特別的期待，因為我會和Ｂaby一起過屬於我們的第三個聖誕節．我會和我最愛的ＢＢ‘s 一起過我們第一個聖誕節．今年不但會有很多關心我的“老“朋友，還會有一些“新“的朋友一起過．每年都陪著我的家人，一陪．．就陪了我渡過２６個聖誕節了．還有．．．今年的聖誕也會是我和Ｅthan的第一個聖誕．雖然沒什麼計劃，但也會是一個開始．一想到今年．．．會陪在我身邊的Ｂaby， Ｅthan，家人，ＢＢ‘s，朋友，就會忍不住眼眶濕濕的，因為此時此刻讓我覺得我真的很幸福．．．也是今年上天給予我最好的禮物～

＊～Ｋatelyn～＊

*~Till death do us part~*

"We understand death for the first time when he puts his hand and grabs upon the one we love"

I received a call today, right when I answered the phone, I heard someone on the other line say "Teddy's mom just passed away 2 hours ago"........Right then and there, I knew who that person is. She is a very good friend of mine. From her voice, I can hear that she is emotionally down....its understandable though. I believe that anyone put in the same situation, would have the same reaction, if not, worse. Listening to her voice, and telling me how helpless she feels, my heart just feels for her. Her boyfriend of 8 years, Teddy, lives across the ocean....for the past 8 years, they manage to hold onto and maintain a good long distance relationship from the US to TW. The stories that she told me really makes me feel sour, especially the part about......Teddy's father died not too long ago and so he is left to take care of his mother and sister. Because he is the only man in the house, he gives himself the pressure to have the responsibility to take good care of them. They dont come from a wealthy family, in fact, they dont even come from an "average" household. Teddy has been in school for the past 6 years, with 2 more years to go as a doctor. Because of his family's problems and conditions, his dream has always been becoming a doctor. He wants to be able to help his family as well as cure other people. Because of his integrity and his devotion, it all paid off when the government offered him a full scholarship to the best university in TW, and that is the National Taiwan University. Going to medical school has always been Teddy's dream, but to fulfill his dreams, he also had to make sacrifices. He only got to see this very special friend of mine once to twice a year, and because of the amount of work he had to do for school, he didnt really have much time for his family either. 

This very special friend of mine, she is a very sweet sweet person. I've never seen her cry for the past 3 years. Everytime I see her, she is ALWAYS smiling, so being around her, it makes you smile too. She makes you feel like smiling and laughing can be very contagious. She loves the outdoor and her dream is to travel the world. She wants to go to every country in the world and help the homeless little kids. Talking about kids.....she LOVES kids. Her first job after she graduated was an occupational therapist. Why she chose this? Because she has a very big heart and she loves to care for the well being of others. She did therapy on the elderly for a year, and after she got more experienced in that field, she landed a job as an occupational therapist for special kids. Her kids range anywhere from infants to 4 year olds. Hearing her tell me stories on how bad some of the kids conditions are, how the little kids made her laugh, and the things that happens during work.....we often laugh together and tear up together.... I think this is where fate comes in. Have you ever had a feeling......when you meet someone for the first time, you dont know why, but you just really like this person? That was the feeling I had for her. Because of her working schedule, and the time she devotes to Teddy, we dont really talk as much as we used to anymore. But she is the type of friend whom if I havent talk to her for a while, when we talk again, we just continue from where we left off. She is the kind of friend that I often think about and wonder how she is doing....if she is ok.....if she is........

Hearing the news about Teddy's mom, I know it really hurt the both of them. Because I know the both of them, it hit me too. So when she talked to me about it, I started to tear up, and instead of me comforting her, she turned around and comfort me. At that moment, I sincerely felt that she is a strong person who looks at everything from the positive side. She had told me that it was ok, and she is okay. We come into this world knowing that we will eventually end by leaving this world. Because Teddy's mom was diagnosed with cancer, the chemotherapy that she had to go through, the amount of endless medication she had to take.....it really made the people around her shed tears just looking at her. She went from a very active person running around from city to city to being someone who cant even hold a glass of water to drink on her own. She spent most her remaining days laying in the bed at the hospital, with an oxygen mask to help her breathe. There was even a point in time when the doctors asked for the consent of Teddy, to just let his mom go naturally and peacefully.......Teddy and this very special friend of mine, sensed that her days will not last very long, but they still held onto that 1% of hope. At last, when the doctors put the oxygen mask on her again, she stopped breathing........

From this phone call, it made me realize that life and death can just be a second difference. One minute you're sitting in front of your computer typing, and the next........Life is really fragile and precious and we should learn to appreciate everything that we have and the people that take a very special place in our hearts. We should be thankful for our parents.....for giving us a life for us to experience the true meaning of living. For our significant other, for spending the rest of their lives with us, making sure that when we come into this world, we are not alone, and when we leave this world, we are still not alone. For our kids, for giving us the best gift of all...and that is to learn how to love unconditionally. For our friends, for going through life's ups and downs and making us laugh and cry every step of the way. For our boss, for giving us a job to be able to provide for ourself and our family. For our coworkers, for helping us when we need it and teaching us what we dont know so we could have our stability. And last but not least, for strangers, we may not know them, but we meet them and see them all for a reason. We may not know, but maybe the person sitting next to you now or the person you'll meet tomorrow is someone who walked by you at the market 10 years ago.

As I am sitting here writing this blog now, I have the sudden urge to tear up because I can feel how much my eyes opened up about death. I start to feel how much pain my family and friends will go through, when I leave this world. Its not easy to admit.....but death is really scary. I dont want to die because there is still so much more things that I havent done yet....I want to travel the world, I want to have my own company, I want to live the life the "teacher" said I will live, I want to go to my BB's weddings, I want to get married, I want to go to my kid's graduation, I want to attend my kid's wedding, I want to be a grandmother........

We may be able to control our own destiny, but we cant control our death clock. I dont know when will be my time to go, but for now, at this very minute, I just want to enjoy my life the way it is.....with all the people that are important to me! So when it is my time to go, I will leave here  smiling....bringing nothing with me but the sweet sweet memories!!!

"The fear of death follows the fear of life. One who lives fully is prepared to die at any time. So live as if you were to die tomorrow and learn as if you were to live forever "

*~Katelyn~*

*~^JBB^~*

"Some people come into our lives and quickly go away. Some stay for a while and leave footprints in our hearts. And we are never, ever the same."

The last of the 4 BB....I saved her for last because there are many things about her that I can relate to.....mostly on.....RELATIONSHIP~ ><

When I first saw JBB, she was someone who was very friendly. She welcomed me by talking to me and always having a smile on her face. No matter how her friends around her joked about her or made fun of her, she always smiled and joked along with them. So the first impression I got from meeting JBB was that she was a very good sport and a pretty girl with a good heart. She never took anyone's words offensively because she knew that they were only joking around and that no matter what they said about her, they still cared for her. Maybe thats why her friends around her always picked on her and made fun of her.....its because they know that she wont take things the wrong way. 

I remembered the first time I went out with her. We planned an afternoon tea at Tea Station. We wanted to take this chance to get to know each other better and just have what is known as our "GIRL TALK". She arrived about 2 hours late....making me worry about what happened to her, or if I got down the wrong place and time. She had told me earlier that day that her phone was going to be out of service and that she wont have a phone to contact me with, but our "afternoon tea date" is still on. I waited and waited.....but no word or sight of her. So I called Ethan and asked him if there was any way to contact her, and I remembered Ethan telling me "See~I told you...JBB is never on time!!!" At that time, I felt guilty for telling Ethan, because I didnt want Ethan yelling at her. About 30 minutes later, from a far distance, I can see a girl running towards my direction. I took a closer look, and it was JBB!! When I saw her, she couldnt stop apologizing, which made me feel even more guilty for having to rush her...... Sorry JBB!

During our "GIRL TALK", I have gotten to know her better. I saw a side of her that deeply touched me. She told me many stories......about her family, about her friends, about her past, about her work.....and the one thing that touched me the most, was the stories about her relationship. I dont know why, but when she first opened up her heart to me about her past relationship, I pictured my own relationship.....my past relationship. I used to hear people tell me that its good to be in a relationship when the guy is alot older than you....because he will be more mature and he will love and care for you even more. I believed it. My past relationship, we were 13 years apart. He cared for me, but it was only short term. I guess every relationship has its goods and bads, and maybe one thing that is good to others doesnt mean that it will be good to you too. This is something I learned. From JBB's stories, I believed that her past relationship, he was alot older than her. I may not know exactly why they ended, but I can feel that till this day, he still takes a very special place in her heart. She may not say so, but I believe that there are nights when she still thinks about him and wondering how he is doing. If we were in the market today and she sees him standing in line right in front of us, she will not talk to him, but her heart will start pounding really fast to a point that she feels like she will faint. Why? Because....she still cares. If you may ask how I know, I can tell you that 10 years ago, I had the same feeling. That is why I said that JBB and I can relate. As time passes, the feelings will slowly fade away and the memories may not always pop up in your mind again, but the feelings and memories are all still there. You can deny it, you can lie to the world, but you cant lie to yourself. From an outsider, we may see how bad he treats her, or think that she can do so much better, but to her, and her only, she knows the real reason why she chose to still hold his hands and walk next to him. And that is what the rest of us dont see. 

Getting hurt from a past relationship can really put a scar in your heart that makes it harder for you to accept a new relationship. Cancers.....we cancers...tend to over protect ourselves when we get hurt. We dont like to try new things, and start all over. We like to be in our comfort zone and even if the situation is bad, we still dont want to change it, we dont want to give up on it. Instead, we try to work on it to make it better, because we give everyone and everything the benefit of the doubt. We dont care if we fail because we still holding onto that 0.000001%. So, often, we are easily hurt.

I've walked through alot of relationship and I can sincerely tell her that the next one will always be better. You have to give yourself and your future Mr. Right a chance. Because one day, when you are holding onto his hands, you will look back and regret why you didnt do it any sooner. I know its not easy and it takes time, but just know that everything will work out for the better. I truly believe that we all have someone who is meant for us, and we go through life everyday trying to find that one person. 

JBB~you're a strong person who truly has a good heart. You always make the people around you smile and no matter how mad we get, we just look at you, and your special charm will just make everything go away. Thank you for coming to Tea Station that day and sharing your stories with me. Because there is that day......thats why we are here today! 

"Remember, the greatest gift is not found in a store nor under a tree, but in the hearts of true friends."

*~Katelyn~*

Rent-to-Buy Ratio

In the current housing situations, with the home price dropping 10% annually, is this the right time to buy a house and live the American dream of owning a house?? Well we all know the housing price has drop, but how much lower can it go? Today, I read this article talking about “rent-to-buy ratio,” (http://www.ocregister.com/news/rentbuy-ratio-for-2075632-news-metro) this article further assures my thinking about the current housing market, that the housing price is still too high. This article gives you another point of view about the housing price. I think it is very helpfully in purchasing the biggest asset of your life.

“The P/E ratio (price-to-earnings ratio) of a stock (also called its "earnings multiple", or simply "multiple", "P/E", or "PE") is a measure of the price paid for a share relative to the annual income or profit earned by the firm per share. A higher P/E ratio means that investors are paying more for each unit of income.” (Wikipedia.org)

The rent-to-buy ratio is like the P/E ratio of stock, to calculate the ratio; you take the home price divided by 12 month rent. The higher the Rent-to-Buy ratio means higher housing price and it is better off renting the property. The lower the ratio means lower housing price and it is better off buying the property.

The housing prices are determined by the usual supply and demand of housing, when housing demand increases the home price will increase. Also the rent will increase, because people who can’t own or buy a house will resort to renting. However, if the housing prices increase, and the rent stay relatively the same, it means there are speculator in the market which bump up the price.

Back in 2005-2006, the height of our housing market, the rent-to-buy ratio shot up to 31.5 in LA, and 29.7 in OC. To put it in perspective, with an average rent of $2,000 per month ($24,000/year) and a ratio of 30 will yield a home price of $720,000. If the rent stated the same and the housing market came down to yield a ratio of 20, your home price would be $480,000, that’s a difference of $240,000 ($720,000 – ($24,000 x20)). From the article the different between the LA’s peak ratio and the first quarter 2008 is 7.4 (a difference of -23.5%); therefore, a difference in ratio of 10 point is possible; giving that current housing price has not bottom out yet.

In conclusion, if currently you are looking to purchase a house and start your American Dream, then don’t let this opinion hold you back because your home value have drop 7 point from the peak. However, if you can wait the saving would be greater over time.

*~Ethan~*

*~^BBM^~*

"Everything and anything may change us, but we start and end as a family"

One of the greatest thing that I envy and adore about Ethan, is the relationship that he builds with his family. If you dont know Ethan personally, you will see him as someone who has no love, could care less about everything including his friends and family.....but when you get to know Ethan, you will come to see that he's a great person with a good heart who has unconditional love for his friends and family. Out of all his cousins, I can see that he cares most about his "3 sisters" To everyone, these sisters are only his real life cousins, but to Ethan, I know that he sees them not only as his cousins, but more so as his "sisters". And this is where....BBM comes in.

I've heard some stories about her past...but that's after I have gotten to know her. I remember the first time I saw her, it was very unexpected. Ethan called me to tell me that his sister wanted to meet me, and that we were going over to her house for dinner. I remembered I asked Ethan "How many people will be there?" He answered me "Just 5....my 3 sisters and us two." I thought to myself...."Ok, just 5, thats not TOO bad....." But when we showed up at her house, there was.....1,2,3,4,5,6,7......yup! 7.....for dinner, then a few more showed up after dinner. I know that I should feel flattered because they were there for me and to meet me for the first time, but everything was so unexpected, and because I knew how much Ethan cared for his sister, I wanted her to like me. From dinner, I can see the kind of personality that lies in her.The three qualities that caught my attention was....Straightforward, Demanding, Controlling.....To some people, actually~maybe to most people, this may sound bad. After you get to know her, you realize that these 3 qualities in her are actually on the positive side, its 3 good qualities. ....She is straightforward because she doesnt like to keep things bottled up inside. She wants to be as truthful as possible, as honest as she can be. Demanding only because she cares for the well being of others, she wants to have what is truly the best for herself and for the people she cares about. Controlling because she doesnt want to see other people get hurt. She likes to be our protection, a shield that protects us from getting hurt from anything. It's just like being parents. We always think our parents are mean, confusing, annoying.....but they only want what's best for us, because they are the people who love us the most. In BBM, I see this quality. After dinner, we talked more and more....it was very awkward at first, because we didnt have a topic that we can both talk about. But as we got to know each other more and more, we now cant stop talking! She slowly became a part of my life.

Now, when I see her, I see her sweetness, her naive, her kindness, her unselfish heart....and the love that she has for the people that she cares about. Her sweetness~~~I know through some people's eyes, we sometimes see and think that she doesnt sacrifice more than her significant other, and that he loves her more than she loves him.....but what I came to realize is the love and affection that she shows him when we are not around. A relationship takes two to be able to work it out, and in their relationship, I see two. Her naive~~~she is a very gullible person, one who believes everything she hears, never doubts her family and friends, and who would give a stranger 100% of her trust. She is someone who is also known as "Believing that everyone is innocent until proven guilty." Her kindness~~~No matter how one treats her in life, she is someone who will suck in the bad, and still put on a smile, just to make the people around her feel better. Her unselfish heart~~~out of all her qualities, to me, this is the most touching quality of her. She not only opened her heart to accept me and my past, but she also opened up her home to me. She slowly walked into my life, and now there is not a weekend that goes by without me seeing her.

Out of the 4 BB's, she is the most fragile one. Looking at her, makes the people around her want to care for her and love her even more. But, as much as I know she appreciates it, she rather care for others than have people care for her. There are so many "THANK YOU" I want to say to her, but seems like actions speak stronger than words. I want to use my love and effort to show her how much I appreciate all the things she does for me as well as show her how much I care for her. There is no way for me to repay her back right now, so the only thing I can do is to treat and love Ethan even more because I know that she cares for him just as much. And that seeing Ethan happy, will also put a smile on her face too.

Next year, she will be walking down the aisle, and the man that she will be spending the rest of her life with, is a very lucky man. Seeing her walk down the aisle, I know that I will shed tears of joy. Its just like seeing my very own sister finding her true happiness and living the "happily ever after" life. There's nothing more I want than to see her smile, because when she is happy, I am happy.

I dont know what the future may be for Ethan and I, but no matter what happens, she has already walked into my life, and became a part of it. I not only see her as a friend, but also my sister....my dearest BBM!

The love of a family is life's greatest blessing.

"The family you come from isnt as important as the family you're going to have"

*~Katelyn~*

*~^BBD^~*

"It is by chance that we met, by choice that we became friends"

I've come to realized that I am a person who is easily touched. By reading a friend's blog, to hearing about some tragedy on the news, to watching a drama on TV, my eyes can tear up when I get sucked into it...let's just say....I'm an emotional sucker for people who are helpless. With that said, I am sitting here now~writing this blog.

I just found out that one of my friend had a blog yesterday, so I spent half day reading her blog. From the first entry to the very recent one, I've read them all. From her blog, I've somehow gotten to know her better. I saw the side of her, I never saw before.

The first time I met her, I didnt know what to think of her. I thought she was very cute yet she may be very mean too. Long silky black hair, 2 pretty eyes, a small tiny nose, thin rosy lips, wearing a pair of dark framed glasses, with dimples to die for. I'd always loved to see her smile, because she had the cutest dimples! The very first time I met her, this was how she looked. The first time I met her was because of Ethan. We didnt really talk much the first time, but I always thought she looked kinda mean. I didnt know why, but it had to be the first impression. 

As I got to know her little by little, I started to see that she was a very strong, aggressive type of girl. She had the energy and mind of a "21st century" woman. She was someone who I would see more so as a business woman rather than a stay at home mom. I dont know why, but its that feeling she gives me when I am around her. She was someone who I can see as a leader in every aspect of life. Whether its for her career, her family, her friends, or even her relationship, she was someone who I would see leading the path for everyone behind her to follow her. 

Lately, as I got to know her just a little bit more in depth, I've come to realized the saying "Dont judge a book, by its cover". Because......she is someone who needs alot of love and nurturing, she is just a simple typical girl who seeks to find her true love, she is a soft hearted person who likes to listen to what others have to say, and most importantly, her dream is to have a family of her own with little kids that she can care for and be nothing more than a stay at home mom. 

Her relationship, is one of the hardest thing for her to manage right now. The time, commitment, love, sacrifice, and effort, she put into building this relationship is not easy. I am sure just like any girl, all she wants is a happily ever after ending. I'm sure that all the hard work that she put in to build this relationship now seems overwhelming, but when that day comes, the day when she finds herself being a wife to that very special someone, and a mother of her adorable little kids, all the hard work will be forgotten. She may not say so, but I can feel it. People say that a woman's intuition is always never wrong, and my intuition is telling me that she may look like she is very strong, but deep down inside, she is very fragile. But I do believe that if you really put your heart into it, it will happen. So, if she is reading.... I just want her to know that no matter what happens in life, through ups and downs, I'll be there for you every step of the way. Just believe in yourself and that the choice you made is the right one. 

Looking at her, made me realize alot of things in life. It got me to open my eyes and see that what we use our eyes to see of others, is only a protection that the person builds to protect themselves from getting hurt. Looking at her and reading her blog, made me feel like.....there is one more person in my life that I need to care for. 

"True friendship is seen through the heart, not the eyes"

*~Katelyn~*

*~To Be or Not To Be...........Superstitious~*

"Superstition is the weakness of the human mind; it is inherent in that mind; it has always been, and always will be."

Over the weekend, I have built up the courage to go meet a very special person. Through many referrals, and hearing about his accuracy....he is someone...who people call "Teacher".....He is not just any teacher, but a teacher who can tell you about your past, go in depth about your present, and foresee your future. 

From booking the appointment with him, to driving to his house, and till sitting inside his office face to face with him....it felt as if my heart beat was racing against each other. Hearing about what others had said about him, it was like he was given a gift from above. A gift that if used in the right way, can help many many people....Before meeting with the Teacher, I've always lived my life wondering "what if's............" but sitting face to face with him, I've realized how scary it is to have someone tell you about the unknown. Not just any unknown, but YOUR unknown...what the future has in store for YOU. 

"You are destined to have a very strong life" ....was the first thing the Teacher said to me as I walked into his office, even before I had the chance to sit down. My heart started to race again....I could only ask myself....."what could that mean?" As I sat down, he started to explain to me...."You have a man's life, living in a woman's body...." Huh??? What does that mean? I soon found out that I am destined to work throughout my life. To some people, especially woman, their dream may be to be a housewife or a stay at home mom or retire after schooling, but to me~working is where I want to be....so in other words, its not a bad thing to hear. The Teacher first talked about my personality. From what he had said about my personality traits, I could do nothing more than to agree what he had to say....because it was so true! I've come to understand myself more knowing that I am an insecure cancer living with a shell protecting myself. I live my life knowing that family is my number one priority and although I like the company of my significant other, there are also times when I like to be by myself. On the job, I seem to be the more dominant person...so I prefer being a leader over a follower. The Teacher then went on about my past....what I've been through and how it affected me. Out of all that he had said, the one part that really made me believe his words, was when.....he talked about my past. Because when someone goes in depth about your present, you feel iffy about it because you feel that there's nothing too special about someone telling you things that is currently happening.....then there is forseeing the future. With that, it's more like in one ear and out the other because it hasn't happen yet, so how will you know it's true? Then....there is the past. Hearing a complete stranger tell you detailed information about things that have already happened to you is just......speechless. I think every human being likes to have doubts....they like to question themselves, they question others.....but when there is solid evidence to back that statement up, then they start to believe. And that was what happened and felt sitting in front of the Teacher. I had doubts and I had questions, but when he target at my past, I started to believe. What he had said about my future is still very unreal to me because it is a future that I have always longed for. I want a successful future because I want to provide a better future for my family. Honestly, I think that the scariest part about going to see this Teacher is hearing what he had to say about my future. I was afraid that he would tell me that I would live a very tough life with rocky roads, unwinding paths, and never ending obstacles. But my heart, my confidence, my dream all came together when I heard him say "YOUR DREAMS WILL COME TRUE." 

What he said may or may not come true, but it has become a big motivation for me. Seeing my future through someone else's words may not be the wisest thing, but it has given me that extra strength I was always striving for, to work my way to my future. A future that can provide a better life for my family. Through his words, it has opened up my eyes as well as my heart to the people around me. Especially to those who take a very special place in my heart. I've learned to trust and to love unconditionally and to love spontaneously. I've learned how to treat my family and friends better and how to maintain a better relationship with them. I've learned how to become a better person mentally and emotionally because through his words, I saw my flaws....so I now understand how I can change myself to be a better ME. 

Lastly, everyone has dreams and goals that they want to achieve. Some people have goals that are easier to achieve than others, but it doesnt mean that just because it's easier to achieve, they should hold off on it or put it aside. And vice versa. Just because a dream is harder to achieve doesnt mean its impossible. I truly believe that if you put your mind and heart into it, ANYTHING and EVERYTHING is possible. It all comes down to how much you want your dreams to come true and how much you're willing to work yourself to make it happen. For me.....I want it.....I really want it........~

"Everyone has his superstitions. One of mine has always been when I started to go anywhere, or to do anything, never turn back or stop until the thing that was intended has been accomplished."

*~Katelyn~*

*~Days w/ My Father~*

I read an article today....an article about someone......a person, who takes a big part of each and every one of our lives....someone who we call our "DADDY"~

"My mom died suddenly on September 4, 2006. After she died, I realized how much she has shield me away from my father's mental state. He doesn't have Alzheimer's, but he has short term memory and is often lost. I took him to my mother's funeral, and to the burial, but when we got home, he would ask me every 15-20 minutes where my mother was. I'd have to then explain to him over and over again that she had died and that we just went to her funeral. This news was shocking to him, as he had no memory to these events. After a while, I realized that I couldn't tell him that his wife had died. He didn't remember and it was killing the both us, to constantly re-live her death. I decided to tell him that she had gone to Paris, to take care of her sick brother. And that was where she was now. As I am writing this, he's 97, and he'll be 98, on March 11, 2008. 

It's rather odd....my mom's death had taken on a slightly absurd aspect these days. When my dad ask where she is, I still say she's in Paris. But when he ask me what she's doing there, rather than the usual story, I'll just say that she's running a very famous flea circus. Then I would do some circus acts in front of my father, and it will make the both of us laugh! I love moments like these. For just a few minutes, everything almost feels normal again. My mom isn't dead, and we're not pretending she's gone to Paris. Oh~how sweet that would be. 

This sums up almost everything about my father. It's who he is, and its what is left of him. AMBITION. As a child, I grew up on stories about my father's daring in the business world. For him, everything was always possible. He always pushed me to do better, to work harder. It actually made me a little crazy sometimes. 

My father.....often tells me he wants to die. He says its time for him to go, that he's been around too long. It's odd, because a part of me wants him to go too. This is no life for him, living in the twilight of half memories. But he is the only really close family I have left. After him, thats it. The other day, when he said he wanted to die, I told him that the problem was that he exercised his entire life, so he was in too good of a shape to do so. He looked at me, raised his finger, and said "Next time around, I'm going to stay in bed!" He may not be able to remember much, but he's still pretty sharp. 

Its amazing. My father is so appreciative of the love he receives. Each time I visit, its like an incredible gift, to him and to me. Its feels as if we're drinking deeply from the same well, for one last time. He's always talking about how much he loves me. These are things he never told me before. 

Sometimes, when we're talking, my dad will stop, and sigh......and then close his eyes. It's then that I know, that he knows. About my mom........About everything. 

My father was 98 today."

As I am sitting here, reading and writing this blog, I can only think about my own father. The time is now 8:30 in the evening.....At this time, while some fathers are home having a nice dinner with his family, or bonding with his children, or sitting on the couch watching TV,......My father is still working. He works at least 10 hours a day, and 7 days a week. All throughout my life, all the sacrifices that he had ever made was all for the benefit of his family. 26 years ago, my father came to the US, and it was the first time he had ever been on a plane. Its 26 years now, and he has still never been back on a plane. He often talks about the countries that he one day wishes to travel to...and when I hear what his wishes are.....it just breaks my heart. Not because I know that I am not capable to fulfill his wishes, but because I know that financially....I know it's something that wont be happening soon. There are so many things I wish that I can give to my father......I am still working on it now.....it may not happen within the next year, but one day, I wish for my father to retire......to live the life Katelyn's father should live. 

There are times when I was younger, I prayed to GOD, and asked him that if I was to leave one day, to please bring me back to a wealthy family. I wished for parents who would be able to buy me anything that I wanted. I wanted to live a smoother life, I wanted a perfect family......I wanted my friend's family......

When I was younger, I didnt understand why when my classmates shared their weekend family trips to Disneyland and how they met Mickey Mouse....I would have no clue what they are talking about. I saw my grandparents more than my parents. I didnt understand why when my classmates had big lavish birthday parties at McDonald's, all I would have was a birthday cake. I didnt understand why when my classmates gets to go to the library for storytime, I would be at home babysitting my brothers. I didnt understand why.....................but as I get older, I look around.....and when I see the house I live in, the room I have, the clothes that are hanging in my closet, the bed I sleep in, the blanket that keeps me warm through the winter time.........I understand why. 

As I got older, I prayed to GOD, and asked him that if I was to leave one day, to please bring me back to the same family. I wish for my parents, the parents, the brothers, that I have now. I would give up wealth, give up a smoother life, give up the perfect family, to just have the parents that I have now. My father may not live to be 98, but I will do all that I can to cherish the time we have together. Because in life, there are things that money cant buy........and one of these things is the smile that I have on my face now, as I am thinking of my father............................

*~Katelyn~*

*~My BFF for LIFE~*

"Persons are judged to be great because of the positive qualities they posses, not because of the absence of faults"

Last night when I was online, I ran into a friend that asked me about "Ethan and Katelyn's World"~ He asked me when I will write my next blog because he has been waiting to read it. Before starting this blog, Ethan and I, only planned to find a place for us to write down our feelings, opinions and aspects of things that happen in our everyday life. We never thought that we would have "FANS".... ^_^  So.....after he told me that, it got me thinking about my next topic and this friend of mine was the first thing that came to mind.....

I've known him for less than a year, and although the time being isnt very long, we have grown from being strangers to being close friends. I remembered when I first saw him, I was very quiet sitting in the back of his car, on our way to Hooters for dinner. My first impression of him wasn't good....nor bad....because I didnt even know the guy! All I knew was that he was one of Ethan's best friend and I dont want him to not like me. Not long after we first met, we started to talk more and more. As we gotten closer, our conversation went more and more in depth. We talked about our past, our present, and what we wanted in our future. From these conversation, and with time, I have realized that I have learned more and more about this friend. I got to see a whole different side of him and it made me see the type of personality traits he brings out to us.  

What are the qualities of being a good friend and what makes this friend so important to me is the fact that I know that he will be there to support me no matter what happens in life, he encourages me and tells me how to maintain a long lasting happy relationship with Ethan, I can tell him my secrets and trust him with it and even if it makes me look bad ~ he wont judge me on it, he shows me his kindness and the respect he has for me, I enjoy his company and know without doubt~ I can always rely on him, he is trustworthy and not afraid to tell me the truth no matter how hard it is sometimes, he is someone who I can laugh with and makes me laugh when I am down, he sticks around when things get tough, he will accept me for who I am and just lend me an ear whenever I need to whine and complain, and last but not least ~ things seems to be different and empty when this friend is not around....

It sucks to see and to know that this friend of mine doesnt have a significant other to share his moments with him. It often makes me wonder why such a great guy like him is still single? Girls, nowadays, are really materialistic and often choose the wrong people to be with. Its such a burden to the guys who actually really pour out their heart and emotions into building a long lasting relationship, because in the end, she will just walk out of his life. But regardless of these materialistic girls, who ruins the images for other girls out there, there are still good people. And you know what they say...."good things come to people who wait....." So if you're reading this blog and is single and available (GIRLS ONLY) dont forget to leave me a message and with your contact info....you're really gonna thank me!!! This friend of mine, is a GREAT CATCH!!! ^_^

Lastly, this friend of mine, well ~ he knows who he is......because last night, I told him that this blog would be for him.... I just want to thank you for coming into my life and Ethan's life and never walking out. We want you to know that we will always be there for you too and we sincerely hope that you will find a great person to share a fairy tale life with you, a "happily ever after" ending.....

"You do not know how much they mean to me, my friends, and how, how rare and strange it is, to find in life composed so much of odds and ends...to find a friend who has these qualities, who has, and gives those qualities upon which friendship lives, How much it means that I say this to you - without friendships, without you - life, is not life!"

*~Katelyn~*

*~Friendship~*

"A real friend is someone who walks in when the rest of the world walks out"

Sometimes in life, you find yourself choosing between love and friendship. Alot of times, when this happens, one will seem to choose for love and put friendship behind. Then gradually, you will see that through time, your friends will slowly drift away from you. And at the end, when love ends, you will see that you are left standing alone in seek of that one friend who didnt drift apart from you. Because of the environment that we live in now, we always tend to take everything for granted. Our parents, our other half, our siblings, our jobs, our time, our life, our health......and our friends. 

Some people say that "Friendship last a lifetime"....but does it really? Fate brought the strangest, or the coolest, or the funniest, or the best looking, or the complete opposite people together. And through time, these two complete strangers have slowly taken a part of each other's heart and become a part of each other's lives. Time can be very fragile, yet very strong. Everyone has a different outlook on this....some people sit in the office all day staring at the clock and wondering when its time to go home. While some other people are just praying to GOD to give them that one extra minute. 

If you want to know how much "A year" is worth, you can ask a student who failed and has to retake their course all over again.

If you want to know how much "A month" is worth, you can ask a mother who gave birth to a premature baby.

If you want to know how much "A week" is worth, you can ask the editor for Times Magazine.

If you want to know how much "An hour" is worth, you can ask a boyfriend who is sitting in the living room waiting for his girlfriend to get ready.

If you want to know how much "A minute" is worth, you can ask someone who just missed his flight.

If you want to know how much "A second" is worth, you can ask someone who survived from the dead.

If you want to know how much "A millisecond" is worth, you can ask the second runner up at the olympics.

I read an article today and it says:

"When we are busy, we want to rest. 

When we are on vacation, we think about the future.

When we are poor, we wonder what its like to be rich.

When our life is settled down, we wonder how long it will last.

When we make a decision, we wonder if its the right one.

When we make the right decision, we regret not making that decision any sooner."

We tend to always want what we dont have, and the things that we have, we dont cherish it and take it for granted. 

A friend, is someone who understands you when no one else does. A friend, is the first person who comes to mind when you have something you want to find someone to share it with. A friend, is someone who will let you take out your anger on when you are mad. A friend, is someone who rather get caught letting you cheat off their homework. A friend, is someone who is sitting next to you and lending their shoulder for you to cry on. A friend, is someone who is willing to go out of their way to help you out whenever you need a helping hand. 

As i am sitting here writing this blog, it made me think about my friends. I am very lucky to have my friends, the people who came into my life and never left me behind. I'm thankful to know that one day when love ends (hopefully it wont), I wont be alone, because my friends will be there standing next to me....all because I see the importance of friendship and that I cherish each and everyone one of them.......and so should you~~~ ^__^ 

"Dont walk in front of me, I may not follow.

Dont walk behind me, I may not lead.

Walk beside me and be my friend."

*~Katelyn~*

*~What is LOVE?~*

"When you tell someone something bad about yourself and you're scared that they won't love you anymore. But then you get surprised because not only do they still love you, they love you even more."

I saw this quote online today...it wasnt searched for, just coincidentally popped onto my computer screen at the right time. Right after I read the quote, it really touched me and got me thinking about the true meaning of "LOVE". 

How do you define LOVE? There is a point in time in life, that we encounter what is known as "LOVE". But to each and everyone of us, our meaning of LOVE is never an indefinite answer. To everyone it expresses itself differently....Some people say that its mysterious, some say its magical, some say its complicated, some say its inspirational, some say its thought-provoking, and others say its undefinable. Perhaps..........

When one person is in love, they will know. How so? She will have butterflies in her stomach when she sees him walk by.....she will drive 60 miles roundtrip just to have dinner with him (on a daily basis)....she will call him just to say "hi" so she can hear his voice....there is not a minute of the day that goes by without her thinking of him....her heart skips a beat when he tells her he misses her....she constantly feels the urge to tell him "I LOVE YOU".....when she is looking for help or comfort, the only person who will make everything ALL better is him.....when she hits the jackpot, she only wants to break the news and share it with him....and when she sees the future, she sees him. 

Love can be something very fragile, yet also very strong. When I first met "him", it wasnt a "love at first sight" sorta thing. Ethan is someone who is very dominant, and lives his life to the fullest. He believes that in order to make someone happy, you have to make yourself happy first. But my personality, is just the opposite. I like to make others happy, because seeing them happy, makes me happy too. When I first met Ethan, the impression that he gave me was....he was someone who is very straight forward and solid on the outside. It was either his way or no way. So alot of times, one little thing that he says, can have a big impact on someone else's life. But regardless of his humble personality, he still had alot of friends and was very lovable to everyone. Why? Because he is a very sincere and soft hearted person in the inside. After getting to know Ethan for the past 9 months, I have seen the other side of him. And from then on, my heart has only grown deeper and deeper for him. Today.....today is the starting point to a new chapter in my life. Because today is the day, that I have realized that he has taken a piece of my heart, and I can not live my life without him. I have become very dependent on him and there is no one else I would want to rely on other than him....he gives me my security and he has gradually become my comfort zone. I've also realized that anyone can tell you how much they love you....but when something bad happens to you, they just leave you behind. That is all BS! The ones that really love you may not always tell you that they love you, but when you are in trouble, they go out of their way to pull you out of the hole and even when everyone is gone, he will still be standing there......and today, Ethan proved this to me....he didnt just tell me that he loved me, he showed it to me, because when I looked and thought that I was alone, I saw him....standing there, waiting for me.....with open arms.....THIS is what LOVE truly is. 

"Love is patience, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trust, always hopes, always perseveres....Love is everything its cracked up to be. Thats why people are so cynical about it...It really is worth fighting for, risking everything for. And the trouble is, if you dont risk everything, you risk even more"

*~Katelyn~*