＊～單親爸爸的心聲～＊

我今晚聽了一個很感人很感人的故事，我一定要跟你們分享．．．我看到都不知道哭了多少次呢．一開始看就覺的超sad的，看到中間就忍不住落淚，看到後面．．．就開始大哭．．．所以你們真的要有心裡準備！

這個故事是來自韓國一為單親爸爸．．．．

“ 我的妻子因為意外事故離開我身邊已經四年了，我想，妻子留下不會做任何家事的我和孩子，她的心有何等難過呢？我因為無法兼顧父母雙親的角色而感到挫折．有一天我為了出差，清晨趕出門，無法將孩子打點好就得離開家，正巧前一天有剩下的飯，我熱了蒸蛋，向還沒睡醒的孩子交代一聲，就出門了．為了照顧好孩子飲食三餐的事，我也無力把自己的工作做好．有一天晚上回到家，我只是很簡單的和孩子打個招呼，就因為身體疲累，不想吃晚餐，脫掉西裝之後就直接往床上躺下．就在那個時後，砰的一聲，紅色的湯汁跟泡麵瞬時弄髒了床單，原來有碗泡麵在綿被裡！這小子真是的，我即時拿起一個衣架，跑出去，往正在玩著玩具的兒子的屁股就打，因為我實在是太生氣了，所以就不停的打他．但就在這個時候，他邊哭泣邊說了一段話，使我聽了下來．兒子告訴我說：“飯鍋裡的飯早就吃完了，晚餐在幼稚園吃了，但是到了晚上，爸爸還沒有回來，我就在櫥櫃的抽屜裡找到了泡麵，可是想到爸爸說不能亂動瓦斯爐，所以我就打開洗澡的水龍頭，用熱水泡了泡麵，一個自己吃，另一個想留給爸爸吃．因為怕麵會涼掉，就把它放在綿被裡，等你回來．可是因為我正在玩向朋友借來的玩具，所以忘了跟爸爸講 ”．我不想兒子看到我在流淚，所以就衝到洗手間裡，將水龍頭打開，大聲的哭著．過了一陣子，我打起精神來，一面哄著兒子，一面在幫他插藥，讓他上床睡覺．當我把泡麵弄髒的床單處理後，打開兒子的房門一看，發現他仍然在發出哭泣聲，手裡還拿著媽媽的照片．我把頭靠在房門許久，看著這一幕．自從在一年前發生這件事之後，我為了扮演好媽媽的角色，更加用心的去照顧他．現在兒子已經七歲了，不久後，就要進入國小讀書．慶幸的是，兒子在這段時間毫無陰影，很開朗的成長．就在不就前，我再一次打孩子．因為幼稚園來電說，兒子沒有去學校，我心裡覺得很不安，所以早退回家，在整個社區裡大喊兒子的名子，卻是遍尋不著．後來在文具店的門口，看見他站在那．於是我很生氣，又開始一直打他．兒子並沒有說任何的解釋，只說了聲對不起．後來我才知道，原來剛好是幼稚園要邀請媽媽去看才藝表演的日子．發生這件事的幾天後，兒子回家說，他在幼稚園學了寫字．從此他經常把自己關在房間裡不出來，很認真的寫字．我看到兒子這麼用心，就想到妻子在天國也一定會看到他這樣而微笑，我就無法忍住淚水．時見很快，又過了一年，到了東天，街頭上都在播放聖誕節的歌曲，我的兒子卻又闖了一個禍．我正要下班的時候，接到一通社區郵局的電話，說我兒子把一大堆沒有寫地址的信惡作劇的放在郵筒裡．每年到了年底，正是郵局最忙碌的時候，所以這對他們造成很大的困擾．雖然我已經決定不再打孩子，但在季忙趕到家後，叫了兒子出來，我又忍不住痛打他一頓．兒子這一次只是說他做錯了，卻沒有講出任何理由．我把他推到一個角落，不管他，自己跑到郵局領回那堆惡作劇的信．我把信帶回家丟到兒子的眼前說：“ 你為什麼要這樣惡作劇？” 兒子哭著說：“ 這些信是我要寄給媽媽的 ”．當時我的眼眶紅了起來，所以我盡量忍住．我接著問他：“那麼，為什麼一次寄這麼多信呢？” 兒子回答說：“以前我個子太矮了，沒辦法把信投入，但最近我再去郵筒時，已經可以搆得到了，所以就把以前沒有寄的，一次全部投進去”．我聽了後，心中一片茫然，不知道該對孩子說什麼話．過了不久以後，我就跟他說：“媽媽現在在天上，以後你寫完信，把信燒了，就能送到天國去了”．等孩子睡著之後，我到外面燒了那些信．我很好奇到底孩子想跟媽媽說些什麼，所以讀了其中的幾封信．而當中有一封信攪動了我的心．

親愛的媽媽，

我很想念妳！媽媽，今天在幼稚園有才藝表演，但因為我沒有媽媽，所以就沒有去，我也沒有告訴爸爸，怕爸爸會想念媽媽．爸爸到處找我，但我為了讓爸爸看到開心的樣子，所以故意坐在電動玩具門口，雖然爸爸罵我，但是我最後也沒有告訴他原因．媽媽，我每天都看到爸爸因為想念媽媽而哭泣，我想爸爸也跟我一樣，很捨不得媽媽吧！但是，媽媽，我現在已經記不清楚妳的臉．媽媽，請妳讓我在夢中，再一次能夠看到妳的臉，好嗎？聽說把想念的人的照片放在懷裡睡覺，就會夢到那個人．可是，媽媽，為什麼妳沒有出現在我夢裡呢？

讀完這封信後，我就開始大哭．．．其實，孩子的心思真的很單純．．．身為父母的，都應該好好了解孩子的想法並珍惜一起相處的時光！

＊～Ｋatelyn～＊

＊～喜歡還是愛．．．．？～＊

今天看到了一個朋友ＰＯ出來的文章．．．題目是：“喜歡還是愛？” 雖然文章並不長，但～很有意思．短，但～一定會讓現在的情侶看了之後，清楚知道你們對你的另一半是喜歡還是愛．．．

我們常常分不清楚（包含我在內）是喜歡一個人還是愛一個人．但我，經過了一段一段感情的時後，好像已經慢慢體會愛和喜歡的差異．

當你與喜歡的人對話，你可以暢所欲言；當你與愛的人對話時，你卻難以啟齒，小心翼翼．

喜歡一個人，你會和他分享生活中的甜酸苦辣；愛一個人，你卻只敢報喜不報憂．

喜歡一個人，有時候會盼望跟他在一起；愛一個人，有時候會怕跟他在一起．

喜歡一個人，你會希望隨時都可以找到他（你要他隨 call，隨到）；當你愛一個人，你會希望他隨時都可以找到妳（他 call 妳，你不敢不到）

喜歡他，不一定是愛她．可是～愛他，就一定會喜歡他．

如果在分手後，妳能夠很快的往前走的話，那就代表妳只有喜歡而已．．．．因為真正愛一個人，是等待他回頭，而且還會給他機會的．．．．

＊～Ｋatelyn～＊

＊～讓懂你的人愛你．．．～＊

通常快樂的時候我們想到的都是情人，而悲傷的時候想到的卻是朋友．

曾經聽人家說過：“與其說，當你悲傷的時候想到誰，那他才是你所愛的人．不如說，願意分擔你悲傷的人，才是愛你的人．” 因為要分享快樂，太容易了．如果把悲傷同時告訴兩個我愛的人，而及時安慰我與我共度難關的人，才會把我當作廝守終身的人．

但是，男人的思想往往是逆向而行的．．．如果他不願意把他的悲傷告訴那個人，而那個人才是他所愛的人，因為他不忍心看到他所愛的人為他憂心煩惱．之前有位老師對我說過，我是一個男人的命，住進了一個女人的身體裡．．．我同意．因為當每個女人把她們的不高興，煩惱，告訴她的另一半時，我只會把我的不開心，煩惱，放入心裡最深最深的地方．．．．因為我會捨不得看到我的另一半為我操心，被我的心情影響著．

最近，讓我感覺到，我們都應該慎選一份值得堅持的感情．愛～只要一點點衝動就可以了．可是了解～卻少了些默契都不行．相愛不只是走進了對方的生活，更要能走入彼此的生命．而喜歡啊～就是淡淡的愛，愛呢～就是深深的喜歡．．．

一個不懂得珍惜妳的人，不值得讓你做任何的羲牲在他身上．因為妳的所做所為，到最後，只會換來一個 “是應該的”．一個懂妳的人，不會時時刻刻的挑妳毛病，不會讓妳不開心，不會一次一次的傷害妳，因為他了解妳，所以他知到什麼會讓你開心，而什麼會讓你不開心．這種行為，也是他愛妳的最好的證明，對於其他的～根本不需要多說．．．多做．

Ｋatelyn曾經以為她是個要求不多的人．她希望他的另一半是個斯文，成熟，有風度，不抽煙，有同情心，有愛心，．．．的男人．但是，可能她真的太貪心了吧，因為換來的另一半是個講話粗魯，行為幼稚，開口都是髒話，愛抽煙，對陌生人沒有同情心，沒有愛心．．．的男人．就拿抽煙的事情來說好了，曾經很笨的以為，她的另一半真的會為她戒煙．從一天一包到半包到一天只抽一根，她真的有一陳子，真的很開心．但，這樣只有為持一下子而已，他又開始抽起來了，而且越抽越多．昨天～還被他騙下車去拿東西，而她的另一半又偷偷的在車上抽．．．她一進車就聞到煙味，問他～還騙著說沒有．心真的很痛，因為很笨的她，以為她的另一半真的想要為她和baby多活一點，他真的是愛她們的．誰知道，一次又一此的被他耍．失望．．．．．真的很失望．

寫到這裡，眼淚又掉下來了．．．真的不想要去想了．．．今天就寫到這裡吧

＊～Ｋatelyn～＊

＊～有些男人永遠都學不會怎樣去愛一個女人．．．～＊

Ｋatelyn 今晚的心情讓我想起一個朋友．．．很想分想一個故事給你們聽．．．．

還記得在不久前，有一為男性朋友對我說，他終於在離婚後才發現，原來馬桶是經常刷洗的．原來照顧小孩，竟然要花很多的心力和時間，而且還要失去很珍貴的 “自由“．

我們有一天在電話上聊了一陣子．．．．

我問他： “你現在的老婆過的還好嗎？” 

他說：“她離開我之後，又嫁了，過的很幸福”

我接著又問他：“她有沒有回來看小孩呢？”

他很安靜的說：“沒有”

那時我只決得他前妻很殘忍，難道她不愛小孩了嗎？她就這樣拋棄小孩了嗎？自己生的耶！

後來，我這為朋友繼續對我說他和前妻間的種種．他們結婚有八年了．他的前妻是個不錯的女人，雖然婚前很愛玩，但是結婚後，就改變了，她過著非常居家的生活．在第一個小孩出生後，我這為朋友經常早出晚歸．他的前妻體諒他在外面工作的辛勞，所以並無怨言．在第二個小孩出生後，他更是經常晚歸，甚至會在外面過夜．他的前妻，每次只希望他能多抽出一些時間陪陪她，陪陪小孩，而他總是以事業忙碌為藉口，依然是我行我訴．

她的婆婆是個思想保守的老人家，婆婆總認為兒子的種種，是來自妻子做不好的原因，於是對妻子的態度很冷淡．有一天，他的前妻對他說：“結婚八年了，你為這個家付出了什麼？你為我做了什麼？”

他回她說：“我每天辛苦賺錢給你們，為了生活打拼，這些還不夠嗎？”

前妻說：“你認為這樣就夠了嗎？一個女人要的，是這些嗎？”

他很生氣的說：“不然妳還要什麼？我讓妳不愁吃穿，生活無優，天天待在家，想做什麼就做什麼，有幾個女人會過的比妳好呢？”

她很難過的回答他：“結婚這些年以來，你根本看不到我的付出，看不到我的苦．你不懂你的小孩為什麼突然間長大，又懂事”

他又說了：“我又沒付出嗎？沒照顧你嗎？給妳錢花的是誰？小孩會長大不是靠我辛苦賺來的錢嗎？”

他前妻，無話可說，也在那一刻覺醒了．於是，她題出離婚，不要小孩，也不要錢．她只想離開這個浪費她生命的男人，讓她不快樂的男人．

故事聽到這裡之後，我的這為朋友突然對我說：“妳知道嗎？從離婚後，我做的每件事都為了孩子，找個可以取代孩子的母親的人．但是，我喜歡的～小孩又不喜歡．”

我問他：“孩子第一眼不喜歡的，你就不要了嗎？”

他說：“嗯．．．我到了現在才知道，原來孩子不會自己長大，做母親的真的很不可理諭，原來家事是如此的繁重，原來每天帶著兩個小孩，根本哪裡都不能去，原來馬桶那麼乾淨是有原因的．．．．．”

故事就說到這裡吧．．．

男人們！！！

女人可以傻傻的愛著你不代表可以讓你傻傻的對待她們．當有個女人真心的愛著你，為你付出的時候，那是很幸福的．．．當你心裡在想 ‘難道我做的還不夠嗎？’．．．就請看看，對方也為你所付出的事．請不要 “身在福中不知福”

愛．．．不是施捨，不要覺得別人是欠你的．一個女人好好的，沒有必要把自己丟在婚姻裡還被嫌棄．所以就珍惜你所有的吧！

＊～Ｋatelyn～＊

＊～幸福的定義～＊

今晚的你，妳．．．幸福嗎？

有人說能擁有愛是人生最大的幸福．在我們愛著人或被愛著的時候，心中總是充滿著無限的喜悅．．．因為每個人都喜歡被重視和珍惜的感覺．但是能夠擁有真愛明白真正的幸福又有幾人呢？

一直以來的Ｋatelyn都以為相愛的人要相伴一生才是幸福的選擇．．．後來在經立人生的過程裡，才領悟到將美好的回憶流成永恆～也是幸福的一種事啊！如果相伴一生發生分離，爭吵，怨恨．．．所謂的幸福定義，真的是因為人而易不過．．．那我～還是寧願選擇相伴一生呢！

有時候，太愛一個人，也不見得會開心．．．妳會因為太愛他而產生懷疑．因為太認真去看待這段感情，而產生強烈的占有．妳會很開心的去愛他也因為如此，對於他的所作所為很容易另妳感到不開心．或許感情就是這樣吧．．．經得起考驗長久下來妳會因為愛他而相信他真心，很認真的在保護著這份感情而懂得適度的放手．但～經不起考驗的．．．也許等不到這一刻就會因為太難守成而放棄．

對於幸福的定義，每個人都不同．．．但卻有一樣是相同的～那就是．．．幸福總是會帶給我們快樂！人生啊～說長不長，說短它也不短．．．最重要的是要過得開心．開心得做好每件事，開心得去實現每個願望，開心得去認認真真愛一個人．．．幸福就是～和喜歡的人在一起．能和喜歡的人做喜歡的事情，看到他高興，自己也高興．看到他失望，自己也失望．．．能為他分想一切喜怒哀樂．幸福就是～和身邊的親朋好友一起說說笑笑．一起創造一輩子的美好回憶．幸福就是～讓妳愛的人也感覺得到幸福．幸福．．．其實只要用心去體會身邊的人，事，物，裡面都會含有幸福的成分喔！幸福的感覺應該是非常甜蜜的，讓人忍不住就從心裡笑出來，從內心甜蜜到心外．．．．幸福的定義其實在於自己，如果妳覺得那是幸福．．．那～就是幸福的！

我的世界．．．因為愛而改變，而因為愛而不停轉動．於是，生活中看似平凡的人，事，物，一點一滴串連成無可取代的幸福．其實啊～真正的幸福．．．往往在一念之間的決擇．當你學會珍惜身邊的一切，懂得用心去感受，懂得惜福和感激，那麼你會發現，幸福離妳並不遙遠，它就在你垂手可得之處等著妳去尋獲！

＊～Ｋatelyn～＊

＊～愛一個人本來就是這樣．．．～＊

今晚的Ｋatelyn心情有點失落．．．又有點爭扎．真矛盾．．．

愛一個人本來就是要這樣，不是嗎？ 為了你的另一半，咬緊牙根，硬著頭皮，和不喜歡的人同桌吃飯，敬酒，說說笑笑，聽著她訴苦，還要安慰著她，知道她對你的另一半有好感，還要當做沒事，看著她笑到打你另一半，還要當做沒看到．．．

今晚．．．每一項都在一個晚上裡發生了．而我能做的，只不過是一個字．．“忍”．我忍．．．我忍她不是因為我不想惹事，我忍她不是因為我怕她，我忍她不是因為我鬥不過她．．．我忍她是因為我愛我的另一半．我不想要為難他，我不想讓他在他朋友面前很難堪，我不想不給他面子，我希望看到他開心，所以不管我心有多麼的不舒服，我只會把所有的感處放在心裡，然後臉上還是微笑著面對大家．其實我真的很討厭一個這樣的自己．我這一輩子，最討厭的就是這種所謂 “做做” 的人．仔細想想，我並沒有什麼資格去批評他們，因為我～今晚就當了一個 “做做” 的人．

我想今晚最難過的不是這些吧，而是Ｅthan真的很笨！他不但不知道發生什麼事，還每過半個小時會在大家的面前取笑我，侮辱我，傷害我，把我當做是他們的娛樂，他們的笑話．看著大家笑．．．我也跟著笑．他在大家的面前說我胖，他們笑，我也笑．他在大家面前讓我扮演個很會控制他，不講理的角色，他們或許會覺得我很bitchy，我也認了．其實認識我們的人，都知道基本上只要他開心，他要做什麼，說什麼，我不會去反對，我真的很少很少的反對他．像抽煙的事．．．我是真的希望他會戒，但，就算他真的在我面前抽，我也不會怎樣．我曾經很傻的想要和他有個未來．．．但～現在，這個念頭慢慢的離我而去．我真的很害怕，我怕有一天～這個念頭已經不存在了．有沒有人能夠告訴我，我該怎麼辦才好呢？是我有錯嗎？

內心深處，我應該是在氣我自己吧，因為我太在乎Ｅthan了．我不想傷害他，連一點點都不要，所以我才會選擇去傷害我自己．其實我真的沒有任何的怨言，我只想把些心裡話說出來，好讓我能夠好好的睡一覺．因為我開始覺得有點累了．．．

或許，愛一個人本來就是這樣的．．．．

＊～Ｋatelyn～＊

＊～ 聖誕節啊聖誕節，不要讓我久等喔！～＊

今天早上出門的時候，在車上聽到了一首聖誕歌，名叫   “ Ｍerry       Ｃhristmas，Ｈappy Ｈolidays ”，讓我想起了很多往年的事和人．時間真的過的很快，還記得在２００７年的聖誕節是在Ｖegas渡過，結果一眨眼，２００８的聖誕又快來臨了！從小到大，不管是慶祝或是過什麼節日，聖誕節仍然還是我的最愛！在每一年的感恩節一過，我就開始很期待很期待聖誕節趕快來．

曾經有很多朋友問過我，為什麼這麼愛聖誕節呢？

我喜歡聖誕節的氣氛．．．因為它給予我一種很溫馨的感覺，我喜歡聽聖誕歌．．．因為真的很好聽又很感人，我喜歡和最愛的家人和朋友交換禮物．．．因為可以看到他們收到禮物給你的那種真誠的笑容，我喜歡看聖誕燈．．．因為我可以看到家家戶戶花很多心思和時間去把自己的家佈置的漂漂亮亮的，我喜歡聖誕老公公．．．因為曾經相信他的存在，所以他給了我和弟弟一個很快樂的童年，我喜歡聖誕的天氣．．．因為我喜歡冬天，而且也讓我抱著可以看到雪的希望．．．我喜歡聖誕節的聚會．．．因為我們總是在很忙的生活裡忽略了一些家人和朋友，所以趁這個節日聚一聚，看到好久沒有看到的人，所以你問我，我喜歡聖誕節嗎？不！我不喜歡，我愛．．．我希望每天都是聖誕節！

今年的聖誕節，我特別的期待，因為我會和Ｂaby一起過屬於我們的第三個聖誕節．我會和我最愛的ＢＢ‘s 一起過我們第一個聖誕節．今年不但會有很多關心我的“老“朋友，還會有一些“新“的朋友一起過．每年都陪著我的家人，一陪．．就陪了我渡過２６個聖誕節了．還有．．．今年的聖誕也會是我和Ｅthan的第一個聖誕．雖然沒什麼計劃，但也會是一個開始．一想到今年．．．會陪在我身邊的Ｂaby， Ｅthan，家人，ＢＢ‘s，朋友，就會忍不住眼眶濕濕的，因為此時此刻讓我覺得我真的很幸福．．．也是今年上天給予我最好的禮物～

＊～Ｋatelyn～＊

*~Till death do us part~*

"We understand death for the first time when he puts his hand and grabs upon the one we love"

I received a call today, right when I answered the phone, I heard someone on the other line say "Teddy's mom just passed away 2 hours ago"........Right then and there, I knew who that person is. She is a very good friend of mine. From her voice, I can hear that she is emotionally down....its understandable though. I believe that anyone put in the same situation, would have the same reaction, if not, worse. Listening to her voice, and telling me how helpless she feels, my heart just feels for her. Her boyfriend of 8 years, Teddy, lives across the ocean....for the past 8 years, they manage to hold onto and maintain a good long distance relationship from the US to TW. The stories that she told me really makes me feel sour, especially the part about......Teddy's father died not too long ago and so he is left to take care of his mother and sister. Because he is the only man in the house, he gives himself the pressure to have the responsibility to take good care of them. They dont come from a wealthy family, in fact, they dont even come from an "average" household. Teddy has been in school for the past 6 years, with 2 more years to go as a doctor. Because of his family's problems and conditions, his dream has always been becoming a doctor. He wants to be able to help his family as well as cure other people. Because of his integrity and his devotion, it all paid off when the government offered him a full scholarship to the best university in TW, and that is the National Taiwan University. Going to medical school has always been Teddy's dream, but to fulfill his dreams, he also had to make sacrifices. He only got to see this very special friend of mine once to twice a year, and because of the amount of work he had to do for school, he didnt really have much time for his family either. 

This very special friend of mine, she is a very sweet sweet person. I've never seen her cry for the past 3 years. Everytime I see her, she is ALWAYS smiling, so being around her, it makes you smile too. She makes you feel like smiling and laughing can be very contagious. She loves the outdoor and her dream is to travel the world. She wants to go to every country in the world and help the homeless little kids. Talking about kids.....she LOVES kids. Her first job after she graduated was an occupational therapist. Why she chose this? Because she has a very big heart and she loves to care for the well being of others. She did therapy on the elderly for a year, and after she got more experienced in that field, she landed a job as an occupational therapist for special kids. Her kids range anywhere from infants to 4 year olds. Hearing her tell me stories on how bad some of the kids conditions are, how the little kids made her laugh, and the things that happens during work.....we often laugh together and tear up together.... I think this is where fate comes in. Have you ever had a feeling......when you meet someone for the first time, you dont know why, but you just really like this person? That was the feeling I had for her. Because of her working schedule, and the time she devotes to Teddy, we dont really talk as much as we used to anymore. But she is the type of friend whom if I havent talk to her for a while, when we talk again, we just continue from where we left off. She is the kind of friend that I often think about and wonder how she is doing....if she is ok.....if she is........

Hearing the news about Teddy's mom, I know it really hurt the both of them. Because I know the both of them, it hit me too. So when she talked to me about it, I started to tear up, and instead of me comforting her, she turned around and comfort me. At that moment, I sincerely felt that she is a strong person who looks at everything from the positive side. She had told me that it was ok, and she is okay. We come into this world knowing that we will eventually end by leaving this world. Because Teddy's mom was diagnosed with cancer, the chemotherapy that she had to go through, the amount of endless medication she had to take.....it really made the people around her shed tears just looking at her. She went from a very active person running around from city to city to being someone who cant even hold a glass of water to drink on her own. She spent most her remaining days laying in the bed at the hospital, with an oxygen mask to help her breathe. There was even a point in time when the doctors asked for the consent of Teddy, to just let his mom go naturally and peacefully.......Teddy and this very special friend of mine, sensed that her days will not last very long, but they still held onto that 1% of hope. At last, when the doctors put the oxygen mask on her again, she stopped breathing........

From this phone call, it made me realize that life and death can just be a second difference. One minute you're sitting in front of your computer typing, and the next........Life is really fragile and precious and we should learn to appreciate everything that we have and the people that take a very special place in our hearts. We should be thankful for our parents.....for giving us a life for us to experience the true meaning of living. For our significant other, for spending the rest of their lives with us, making sure that when we come into this world, we are not alone, and when we leave this world, we are still not alone. For our kids, for giving us the best gift of all...and that is to learn how to love unconditionally. For our friends, for going through life's ups and downs and making us laugh and cry every step of the way. For our boss, for giving us a job to be able to provide for ourself and our family. For our coworkers, for helping us when we need it and teaching us what we dont know so we could have our stability. And last but not least, for strangers, we may not know them, but we meet them and see them all for a reason. We may not know, but maybe the person sitting next to you now or the person you'll meet tomorrow is someone who walked by you at the market 10 years ago.

As I am sitting here writing this blog now, I have the sudden urge to tear up because I can feel how much my eyes opened up about death. I start to feel how much pain my family and friends will go through, when I leave this world. Its not easy to admit.....but death is really scary. I dont want to die because there is still so much more things that I havent done yet....I want to travel the world, I want to have my own company, I want to live the life the "teacher" said I will live, I want to go to my BB's weddings, I want to get married, I want to go to my kid's graduation, I want to attend my kid's wedding, I want to be a grandmother........

We may be able to control our own destiny, but we cant control our death clock. I dont know when will be my time to go, but for now, at this very minute, I just want to enjoy my life the way it is.....with all the people that are important to me! So when it is my time to go, I will leave here  smiling....bringing nothing with me but the sweet sweet memories!!!

"The fear of death follows the fear of life. One who lives fully is prepared to die at any time. So live as if you were to die tomorrow and learn as if you were to live forever "

*~Katelyn~*

*~^JBB^~*

"Some people come into our lives and quickly go away. Some stay for a while and leave footprints in our hearts. And we are never, ever the same."

The last of the 4 BB....I saved her for last because there are many things about her that I can relate to.....mostly on.....RELATIONSHIP~ ><

When I first saw JBB, she was someone who was very friendly. She welcomed me by talking to me and always having a smile on her face. No matter how her friends around her joked about her or made fun of her, she always smiled and joked along with them. So the first impression I got from meeting JBB was that she was a very good sport and a pretty girl with a good heart. She never took anyone's words offensively because she knew that they were only joking around and that no matter what they said about her, they still cared for her. Maybe thats why her friends around her always picked on her and made fun of her.....its because they know that she wont take things the wrong way. 

I remembered the first time I went out with her. We planned an afternoon tea at Tea Station. We wanted to take this chance to get to know each other better and just have what is known as our "GIRL TALK". She arrived about 2 hours late....making me worry about what happened to her, or if I got down the wrong place and time. She had told me earlier that day that her phone was going to be out of service and that she wont have a phone to contact me with, but our "afternoon tea date" is still on. I waited and waited.....but no word or sight of her. So I called Ethan and asked him if there was any way to contact her, and I remembered Ethan telling me "See~I told you...JBB is never on time!!!" At that time, I felt guilty for telling Ethan, because I didnt want Ethan yelling at her. About 30 minutes later, from a far distance, I can see a girl running towards my direction. I took a closer look, and it was JBB!! When I saw her, she couldnt stop apologizing, which made me feel even more guilty for having to rush her...... Sorry JBB!

During our "GIRL TALK", I have gotten to know her better. I saw a side of her that deeply touched me. She told me many stories......about her family, about her friends, about her past, about her work.....and the one thing that touched me the most, was the stories about her relationship. I dont know why, but when she first opened up her heart to me about her past relationship, I pictured my own relationship.....my past relationship. I used to hear people tell me that its good to be in a relationship when the guy is alot older than you....because he will be more mature and he will love and care for you even more. I believed it. My past relationship, we were 13 years apart. He cared for me, but it was only short term. I guess every relationship has its goods and bads, and maybe one thing that is good to others doesnt mean that it will be good to you too. This is something I learned. From JBB's stories, I believed that her past relationship, he was alot older than her. I may not know exactly why they ended, but I can feel that till this day, he still takes a very special place in her heart. She may not say so, but I believe that there are nights when she still thinks about him and wondering how he is doing. If we were in the market today and she sees him standing in line right in front of us, she will not talk to him, but her heart will start pounding really fast to a point that she feels like she will faint. Why? Because....she still cares. If you may ask how I know, I can tell you that 10 years ago, I had the same feeling. That is why I said that JBB and I can relate. As time passes, the feelings will slowly fade away and the memories may not always pop up in your mind again, but the feelings and memories are all still there. You can deny it, you can lie to the world, but you cant lie to yourself. From an outsider, we may see how bad he treats her, or think that she can do so much better, but to her, and her only, she knows the real reason why she chose to still hold his hands and walk next to him. And that is what the rest of us dont see. 

Getting hurt from a past relationship can really put a scar in your heart that makes it harder for you to accept a new relationship. Cancers.....we cancers...tend to over protect ourselves when we get hurt. We dont like to try new things, and start all over. We like to be in our comfort zone and even if the situation is bad, we still dont want to change it, we dont want to give up on it. Instead, we try to work on it to make it better, because we give everyone and everything the benefit of the doubt. We dont care if we fail because we still holding onto that 0.000001%. So, often, we are easily hurt.

I've walked through alot of relationship and I can sincerely tell her that the next one will always be better. You have to give yourself and your future Mr. Right a chance. Because one day, when you are holding onto his hands, you will look back and regret why you didnt do it any sooner. I know its not easy and it takes time, but just know that everything will work out for the better. I truly believe that we all have someone who is meant for us, and we go through life everyday trying to find that one person. 

JBB~you're a strong person who truly has a good heart. You always make the people around you smile and no matter how mad we get, we just look at you, and your special charm will just make everything go away. Thank you for coming to Tea Station that day and sharing your stories with me. Because there is that day......thats why we are here today! 

"Remember, the greatest gift is not found in a store nor under a tree, but in the hearts of true friends."

*~Katelyn~*

Rent-to-Buy Ratio

In the current housing situations, with the home price dropping 10% annually, is this the right time to buy a house and live the American dream of owning a house?? Well we all know the housing price has drop, but how much lower can it go? Today, I read this article talking about “rent-to-buy ratio,” (http://www.ocregister.com/news/rentbuy-ratio-for-2075632-news-metro) this article further assures my thinking about the current housing market, that the housing price is still too high. This article gives you another point of view about the housing price. I think it is very helpfully in purchasing the biggest asset of your life.

“The P/E ratio (price-to-earnings ratio) of a stock (also called its "earnings multiple", or simply "multiple", "P/E", or "PE") is a measure of the price paid for a share relative to the annual income or profit earned by the firm per share. A higher P/E ratio means that investors are paying more for each unit of income.” (Wikipedia.org)

The rent-to-buy ratio is like the P/E ratio of stock, to calculate the ratio; you take the home price divided by 12 month rent. The higher the Rent-to-Buy ratio means higher housing price and it is better off renting the property. The lower the ratio means lower housing price and it is better off buying the property.

The housing prices are determined by the usual supply and demand of housing, when housing demand increases the home price will increase. Also the rent will increase, because people who can’t own or buy a house will resort to renting. However, if the housing prices increase, and the rent stay relatively the same, it means there are speculator in the market which bump up the price.

Back in 2005-2006, the height of our housing market, the rent-to-buy ratio shot up to 31.5 in LA, and 29.7 in OC. To put it in perspective, with an average rent of $2,000 per month ($24,000/year) and a ratio of 30 will yield a home price of $720,000. If the rent stated the same and the housing market came down to yield a ratio of 20, your home price would be $480,000, that’s a difference of $240,000 ($720,000 – ($24,000 x20)). From the article the different between the LA’s peak ratio and the first quarter 2008 is 7.4 (a difference of -23.5%); therefore, a difference in ratio of 10 point is possible; giving that current housing price has not bottom out yet.

In conclusion, if currently you are looking to purchase a house and start your American Dream, then don’t let this opinion hold you back because your home value have drop 7 point from the peak. However, if you can wait the saving would be greater over time.

*~Ethan~*