*~Days w/ My Father~*

I read an article today....an article about someone......a person, who takes a big part of each and every one of our lives....someone who we call our "DADDY"~

"My mom died suddenly on September 4, 2006. After she died, I realized how much she has shield me away from my father's mental state. He doesn't have Alzheimer's, but he has short term memory and is often lost. I took him to my mother's funeral, and to the burial, but when we got home, he would ask me every 15-20 minutes where my mother was. I'd have to then explain to him over and over again that she had died and that we just went to her funeral. This news was shocking to him, as he had no memory to these events. After a while, I realized that I couldn't tell him that his wife had died. He didn't remember and it was killing the both us, to constantly re-live her death. I decided to tell him that she had gone to Paris, to take care of her sick brother. And that was where she was now. As I am writing this, he's 97, and he'll be 98, on March 11, 2008. 

It's rather odd....my mom's death had taken on a slightly absurd aspect these days. When my dad ask where she is, I still say she's in Paris. But when he ask me what she's doing there, rather than the usual story, I'll just say that she's running a very famous flea circus. Then I would do some circus acts in front of my father, and it will make the both of us laugh! I love moments like these. For just a few minutes, everything almost feels normal again. My mom isn't dead, and we're not pretending she's gone to Paris. Oh~how sweet that would be. 

This sums up almost everything about my father. It's who he is, and its what is left of him. AMBITION. As a child, I grew up on stories about my father's daring in the business world. For him, everything was always possible. He always pushed me to do better, to work harder. It actually made me a little crazy sometimes. 

My father.....often tells me he wants to die. He says its time for him to go, that he's been around too long. It's odd, because a part of me wants him to go too. This is no life for him, living in the twilight of half memories. But he is the only really close family I have left. After him, thats it. The other day, when he said he wanted to die, I told him that the problem was that he exercised his entire life, so he was in too good of a shape to do so. He looked at me, raised his finger, and said "Next time around, I'm going to stay in bed!" He may not be able to remember much, but he's still pretty sharp. 

Its amazing. My father is so appreciative of the love he receives. Each time I visit, its like an incredible gift, to him and to me. Its feels as if we're drinking deeply from the same well, for one last time. He's always talking about how much he loves me. These are things he never told me before. 

Sometimes, when we're talking, my dad will stop, and sigh......and then close his eyes. It's then that I know, that he knows. About my mom........About everything. 

My father was 98 today."

As I am sitting here, reading and writing this blog, I can only think about my own father. The time is now 8:30 in the evening.....At this time, while some fathers are home having a nice dinner with his family, or bonding with his children, or sitting on the couch watching TV,......My father is still working. He works at least 10 hours a day, and 7 days a week. All throughout my life, all the sacrifices that he had ever made was all for the benefit of his family. 26 years ago, my father came to the US, and it was the first time he had ever been on a plane. Its 26 years now, and he has still never been back on a plane. He often talks about the countries that he one day wishes to travel to...and when I hear what his wishes are.....it just breaks my heart. Not because I know that I am not capable to fulfill his wishes, but because I know that financially....I know it's something that wont be happening soon. There are so many things I wish that I can give to my father......I am still working on it now.....it may not happen within the next year, but one day, I wish for my father to retire......to live the life Katelyn's father should live. 

There are times when I was younger, I prayed to GOD, and asked him that if I was to leave one day, to please bring me back to a wealthy family. I wished for parents who would be able to buy me anything that I wanted. I wanted to live a smoother life, I wanted a perfect family......I wanted my friend's family......

When I was younger, I didnt understand why when my classmates shared their weekend family trips to Disneyland and how they met Mickey Mouse....I would have no clue what they are talking about. I saw my grandparents more than my parents. I didnt understand why when my classmates had big lavish birthday parties at McDonald's, all I would have was a birthday cake. I didnt understand why when my classmates gets to go to the library for storytime, I would be at home babysitting my brothers. I didnt understand why.....................but as I get older, I look around.....and when I see the house I live in, the room I have, the clothes that are hanging in my closet, the bed I sleep in, the blanket that keeps me warm through the winter time.........I understand why. 

As I got older, I prayed to GOD, and asked him that if I was to leave one day, to please bring me back to the same family. I wish for my parents, the parents, the brothers, that I have now. I would give up wealth, give up a smoother life, give up the perfect family, to just have the parents that I have now. My father may not live to be 98, but I will do all that I can to cherish the time we have together. Because in life, there are things that money cant buy........and one of these things is the smile that I have on my face now, as I am thinking of my father............................

*~Katelyn~*

*~My BFF for LIFE~*

"Persons are judged to be great because of the positive qualities they posses, not because of the absence of faults"

Last night when I was online, I ran into a friend that asked me about "Ethan and Katelyn's World"~ He asked me when I will write my next blog because he has been waiting to read it. Before starting this blog, Ethan and I, only planned to find a place for us to write down our feelings, opinions and aspects of things that happen in our everyday life. We never thought that we would have "FANS".... ^_^  So.....after he told me that, it got me thinking about my next topic and this friend of mine was the first thing that came to mind.....

I've known him for less than a year, and although the time being isnt very long, we have grown from being strangers to being close friends. I remembered when I first saw him, I was very quiet sitting in the back of his car, on our way to Hooters for dinner. My first impression of him wasn't good....nor bad....because I didnt even know the guy! All I knew was that he was one of Ethan's best friend and I dont want him to not like me. Not long after we first met, we started to talk more and more. As we gotten closer, our conversation went more and more in depth. We talked about our past, our present, and what we wanted in our future. From these conversation, and with time, I have realized that I have learned more and more about this friend. I got to see a whole different side of him and it made me see the type of personality traits he brings out to us.  

What are the qualities of being a good friend and what makes this friend so important to me is the fact that I know that he will be there to support me no matter what happens in life, he encourages me and tells me how to maintain a long lasting happy relationship with Ethan, I can tell him my secrets and trust him with it and even if it makes me look bad ~ he wont judge me on it, he shows me his kindness and the respect he has for me, I enjoy his company and know without doubt~ I can always rely on him, he is trustworthy and not afraid to tell me the truth no matter how hard it is sometimes, he is someone who I can laugh with and makes me laugh when I am down, he sticks around when things get tough, he will accept me for who I am and just lend me an ear whenever I need to whine and complain, and last but not least ~ things seems to be different and empty when this friend is not around....

It sucks to see and to know that this friend of mine doesnt have a significant other to share his moments with him. It often makes me wonder why such a great guy like him is still single? Girls, nowadays, are really materialistic and often choose the wrong people to be with. Its such a burden to the guys who actually really pour out their heart and emotions into building a long lasting relationship, because in the end, she will just walk out of his life. But regardless of these materialistic girls, who ruins the images for other girls out there, there are still good people. And you know what they say...."good things come to people who wait....." So if you're reading this blog and is single and available (GIRLS ONLY) dont forget to leave me a message and with your contact info....you're really gonna thank me!!! This friend of mine, is a GREAT CATCH!!! ^_^

Lastly, this friend of mine, well ~ he knows who he is......because last night, I told him that this blog would be for him.... I just want to thank you for coming into my life and Ethan's life and never walking out. We want you to know that we will always be there for you too and we sincerely hope that you will find a great person to share a fairy tale life with you, a "happily ever after" ending.....

"You do not know how much they mean to me, my friends, and how, how rare and strange it is, to find in life composed so much of odds and ends...to find a friend who has these qualities, who has, and gives those qualities upon which friendship lives, How much it means that I say this to you - without friendships, without you - life, is not life!"

*~Katelyn~*

*~Friendship~*

"A real friend is someone who walks in when the rest of the world walks out"

Sometimes in life, you find yourself choosing between love and friendship. Alot of times, when this happens, one will seem to choose for love and put friendship behind. Then gradually, you will see that through time, your friends will slowly drift away from you. And at the end, when love ends, you will see that you are left standing alone in seek of that one friend who didnt drift apart from you. Because of the environment that we live in now, we always tend to take everything for granted. Our parents, our other half, our siblings, our jobs, our time, our life, our health......and our friends. 

Some people say that "Friendship last a lifetime"....but does it really? Fate brought the strangest, or the coolest, or the funniest, or the best looking, or the complete opposite people together. And through time, these two complete strangers have slowly taken a part of each other's heart and become a part of each other's lives. Time can be very fragile, yet very strong. Everyone has a different outlook on this....some people sit in the office all day staring at the clock and wondering when its time to go home. While some other people are just praying to GOD to give them that one extra minute. 

If you want to know how much "A year" is worth, you can ask a student who failed and has to retake their course all over again.

If you want to know how much "A month" is worth, you can ask a mother who gave birth to a premature baby.

If you want to know how much "A week" is worth, you can ask the editor for Times Magazine.

If you want to know how much "An hour" is worth, you can ask a boyfriend who is sitting in the living room waiting for his girlfriend to get ready.

If you want to know how much "A minute" is worth, you can ask someone who just missed his flight.

If you want to know how much "A second" is worth, you can ask someone who survived from the dead.

If you want to know how much "A millisecond" is worth, you can ask the second runner up at the olympics.

I read an article today and it says:

"When we are busy, we want to rest. 

When we are on vacation, we think about the future.

When we are poor, we wonder what its like to be rich.

When our life is settled down, we wonder how long it will last.

When we make a decision, we wonder if its the right one.

When we make the right decision, we regret not making that decision any sooner."

We tend to always want what we dont have, and the things that we have, we dont cherish it and take it for granted. 

A friend, is someone who understands you when no one else does. A friend, is the first person who comes to mind when you have something you want to find someone to share it with. A friend, is someone who will let you take out your anger on when you are mad. A friend, is someone who rather get caught letting you cheat off their homework. A friend, is someone who is sitting next to you and lending their shoulder for you to cry on. A friend, is someone who is willing to go out of their way to help you out whenever you need a helping hand. 

As i am sitting here writing this blog, it made me think about my friends. I am very lucky to have my friends, the people who came into my life and never left me behind. I'm thankful to know that one day when love ends (hopefully it wont), I wont be alone, because my friends will be there standing next to me....all because I see the importance of friendship and that I cherish each and everyone one of them.......and so should you~~~ ^__^ 

"Dont walk in front of me, I may not follow.

Dont walk behind me, I may not lead.

Walk beside me and be my friend."

*~Katelyn~*

*~What is LOVE?~*

"When you tell someone something bad about yourself and you're scared that they won't love you anymore. But then you get surprised because not only do they still love you, they love you even more."

I saw this quote online today...it wasnt searched for, just coincidentally popped onto my computer screen at the right time. Right after I read the quote, it really touched me and got me thinking about the true meaning of "LOVE". 

How do you define LOVE? There is a point in time in life, that we encounter what is known as "LOVE". But to each and everyone of us, our meaning of LOVE is never an indefinite answer. To everyone it expresses itself differently....Some people say that its mysterious, some say its magical, some say its complicated, some say its inspirational, some say its thought-provoking, and others say its undefinable. Perhaps..........

When one person is in love, they will know. How so? She will have butterflies in her stomach when she sees him walk by.....she will drive 60 miles roundtrip just to have dinner with him (on a daily basis)....she will call him just to say "hi" so she can hear his voice....there is not a minute of the day that goes by without her thinking of him....her heart skips a beat when he tells her he misses her....she constantly feels the urge to tell him "I LOVE YOU".....when she is looking for help or comfort, the only person who will make everything ALL better is him.....when she hits the jackpot, she only wants to break the news and share it with him....and when she sees the future, she sees him. 

Love can be something very fragile, yet also very strong. When I first met "him", it wasnt a "love at first sight" sorta thing. Ethan is someone who is very dominant, and lives his life to the fullest. He believes that in order to make someone happy, you have to make yourself happy first. But my personality, is just the opposite. I like to make others happy, because seeing them happy, makes me happy too. When I first met Ethan, the impression that he gave me was....he was someone who is very straight forward and solid on the outside. It was either his way or no way. So alot of times, one little thing that he says, can have a big impact on someone else's life. But regardless of his humble personality, he still had alot of friends and was very lovable to everyone. Why? Because he is a very sincere and soft hearted person in the inside. After getting to know Ethan for the past 9 months, I have seen the other side of him. And from then on, my heart has only grown deeper and deeper for him. Today.....today is the starting point to a new chapter in my life. Because today is the day, that I have realized that he has taken a piece of my heart, and I can not live my life without him. I have become very dependent on him and there is no one else I would want to rely on other than him....he gives me my security and he has gradually become my comfort zone. I've also realized that anyone can tell you how much they love you....but when something bad happens to you, they just leave you behind. That is all BS! The ones that really love you may not always tell you that they love you, but when you are in trouble, they go out of their way to pull you out of the hole and even when everyone is gone, he will still be standing there......and today, Ethan proved this to me....he didnt just tell me that he loved me, he showed it to me, because when I looked and thought that I was alone, I saw him....standing there, waiting for me.....with open arms.....THIS is what LOVE truly is. 

"Love is patience, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trust, always hopes, always perseveres....Love is everything its cracked up to be. Thats why people are so cynical about it...It really is worth fighting for, risking everything for. And the trouble is, if you dont risk everything, you risk even more"

*~Katelyn~*